I don't even know where to start as there has been so much that has happened. But basically, like most, i am having troubles with my FMIL. My boyfriend and I are expecting our first child- a little boy. Before I got pregnant, me and his mom were really CLOSE-- we talked everyday, shopped, she gave me advice, etc.. she even made comments about us getting married and how we needed to hurry up and give her a grandchild (this is her first). Now that I am pregnant its like her attitude towards me has changed. We barely talk and when we do we get into some debate about something-- main problem is that she is TOO involved in his life and I feel like shes trying to control ours. She has two sons and in her household she is the top dog-- definitely the matriarch. Could this change in her be because of lack of control or what? Its like everything I do is either wrong or never good enough. I am damned if I do, damned if i don't. Here are examples: She made a big deal because her sons name wasnt on the baby shower invitations (it was women only, NOT co-ed and she said that he didnt need to be there because it was tacky), she has made comments about people buying onesies with monkies on them (his family is black and mine is white so of course our son is biracial and shes trying to imply that its racist--- WHO THINKS LIKE THAT, ITS BABY CLOTHES?!) and she just always makes smart remarks about something like what we needed to have on our registry-- etc. Yesterday was the baby shower and everyone talked about how she had a obvious attitude. I am at the point of kissing this womans ass and I am getting NOTHING but disrespect and passive-aggressive actions in return. I try to talk to my SO about it and of course he doesnt wanna be in the middle and makes excuses for her. He either doesnt see a problem or doesnt WANT to see a problem. Sorry this post is all over the place.. my mind is racing.. I just want our families to be close for my son and I do not know what else to do. I havent said anything rude or out of the way because I do not want there to be conflict but I am getting to the point of wanting to explode due to harvesting all of this anger and resentment. The one time i did say something (in the beginning of my pregnancy) she went off and said that grandparents are there to "pick up slack", "its THEIR culture (black culture) for families to help raise families"... Me and him are 25 and 28 years old with decent jobs so there is NO slack. Please give me advice.. I just don't know what else to do. I have cried over this the WHOLE 7 months-- last night i was crying so hard that my back and stomach started hurting.. i really thought I was going into preterm labor. Thanks in advance..
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