To start, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer in February this year. We have a loooong history of boundary stomping and disrespect toward my husband and our parenting decisions. We were on ELC for 4 years where we did not see one another but moved back to home town about 1 year ago. Things were going well initially, but then the boundary stomping behavior hit a new high and I needed a break from her. She has been on a TO from us for about 3 months now (through her birthday and thanksgiving). She doesn't have that long left to live so I would like to have some relationship with her,but things must change first. Here are a few examples of past behavior:
1) my husband proposed to me. I was 28 and previously married. He was 33. She gave him "the talk" about how he needed to ask her permission and traditions and blah blah blah. We then eloped and she wanted to have another talk with him which I shut down fast.
2) she came out to visit while I was pregnant with our first child. She asked where we were registered. I said we are not registering. If someone wants to give a gift, they can, but we are not registering. She replied "if you don't make a registry, I will make one for you!"
3) I was on bed rest with my 1st for premature labor at 28 weeks. She promptly replied that "she was coming out to take care of me." And kept pushing when I said we had it covered and it would only cause more stress.
4) we did not invite anyone after the baby was born (in August) because she was a premie and we wanted to bond. In January, I get a text from my BSC sister to watch a movie called "not without my daughter". I googled it to find that it is about a family that moves to the husbands home country and his FOO basically kidnaps her child. She was implying my husband would do the same. I learn from my other sister that my mom partially believes this too. This resulted in TO followed my ELC for 4 years.
We moved back to hometown and tried to make amends...
5) my mom is a realtor and we made the mistake of using her to buy houses we were flipping. In June, my husband found a great deal on a house on Craigslist and no realtors were to be involved. He mentioned it to her and my Step Dad and they start questioning who wrote the contract, the values etc etc and ushered my husband out the door. Rather than being happy for us, they felt like we owed them something!
6) number 3 was born in August. There were a whole lot of "my baby" comments followed by not giving the baby back so I could feed her. She claimed the baby wasn't hungry and was trying to get her to settle and finally admitted that I was right and gave her back to me after a few minutes of crying.
These last 3 months have been wonderfully not stressful or straining on my marriage but I know she doesn't have much time left. I think I want to write a letter but need your help!
There are so many more stories but this is the worst of the worst. Help!
1) my husband proposed to me. I was 28 and previously married. He was 33. She gave him "the talk" about how he needed to ask her permission and traditions and blah blah blah. We then eloped and she wanted to have another talk with him which I shut down fast.
2) she came out to visit while I was pregnant with our first child. She asked where we were registered. I said we are not registering. If someone wants to give a gift, they can, but we are not registering. She replied "if you don't make a registry, I will make one for you!"
3) I was on bed rest with my 1st for premature labor at 28 weeks. She promptly replied that "she was coming out to take care of me." And kept pushing when I said we had it covered and it would only cause more stress.
4) we did not invite anyone after the baby was born (in August) because she was a premie and we wanted to bond. In January, I get a text from my BSC sister to watch a movie called "not without my daughter". I googled it to find that it is about a family that moves to the husbands home country and his FOO basically kidnaps her child. She was implying my husband would do the same. I learn from my other sister that my mom partially believes this too. This resulted in TO followed my ELC for 4 years.
We moved back to hometown and tried to make amends...
5) my mom is a realtor and we made the mistake of using her to buy houses we were flipping. In June, my husband found a great deal on a house on Craigslist and no realtors were to be involved. He mentioned it to her and my Step Dad and they start questioning who wrote the contract, the values etc etc and ushered my husband out the door. Rather than being happy for us, they felt like we owed them something!
6) number 3 was born in August. There were a whole lot of "my baby" comments followed by not giving the baby back so I could feed her. She claimed the baby wasn't hungry and was trying to get her to settle and finally admitted that I was right and gave her back to me after a few minutes of crying.
These last 3 months have been wonderfully not stressful or straining on my marriage but I know she doesn't have much time left. I think I want to write a letter but need your help!
There are so many more stories but this is the worst of the worst. Help!