Prior major updates of this thread are at pages 10, 13, 15, 18, 24, 34 (VM), 65, 78, 83, 96, 105, 108, 112, 119, 127, 134, 136
BG is here:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a46698013/the_50000_cookie_monster_possible_triggers_updates_p._10_28_39_40_45_57_65_73_81_89
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a48682462/the_50000_cookie_monster_continued_update_p._2_5_tr_13_31_35_44_48_60_78_82_87_89?cpg=1
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a52489507/am_i_looking_a_gift_horse_in_the_mouth_update_p._20_26_30?cpg=1
TLDR: My brother is an addict, and I CO after he pretended that he tried to give my 3 month old daughter $50,000 by taping a check to a Cookie Monster doll (which he claimed was made out of Real Muppet Fur) we left at my parents' house after Christmas.
My parents, being typical enablers, flipped their shit at the CO, and attacked me as heartless, cruel, etc.
During this time I realized that my ED is an engulfing narc of the highest order. She tried to push her obsession with horses on me when I was a kid, then parentified me, then *trigger* when I was 16 she slept with my 18 year-old boyfriend. She told me a few months later to assuage her own guilt and begged forgiveness. My father forgave her (because he's the satellite parent), and then together they turned on me and pressured me into forgiving her, even though I was still hurting and angry and not anywhere near ready. But, like a good daughter I eventually forgave, though not without a lot of emotional scars. After I had a baby last year (15+ years after the fiasco), a lot of old wounds opened again for me.
I put my parents on a 4-month TO this spring, and this summer I stupidly ended the TO because I thought they were behaving themselves.
DD's first birthday is today. Last week my mother sent DD a jumper with a horse on it, knowing that I do not want her pushing horses on DD the way she pushed them on me. She then sent me a text asking if we received the gift. DH and I debated how to handle it, and ultimately decided to appease and BH her this week so we can enjoy this time with DD, and then deal with ED later. I sent a short text a few days later acknowledging the gift.
Last night, I saw that ED had posted a stupid grandparents meme on FB aimed at me, saying that she would "always be there" for DD. She commented that "hopefully, my daughter will see this on my FB page. Even though [DD] is many miles away and too young to understand this, yet." Screen capture is below.
This is a **huge** trigger for me. The original catalyst for the TO was ED, in an attempt to manipulate me into not COing bro, told me how she's "always been there for me." I flipped my shit at her, because I couldn't believe that she would have the fucking audacity to say that after she fucked my boyfriend and ruined my entire adolesence. When the TO ended, I made it clear that one of my boundaries was that I didn't want to hear any more about what a great parent she was or how she'd always been there for me. So this little stunt strikes a nerve, but I decided to BH.
Then, this morning, I woke up and discovered that ED had posted a photo of me and DD from the hospital doing skin to skin, just after DD was born, with the caption: "One year ago today, my daughter became a Mother and I became a Grandmother. Happy Birthday [DD]. Sure wish you weren't so far away." It's one of my favorite photos, but it's super personal and not something I would *ever* put on Facebook. I was fuming. Not only did this bitch post about DD's birthday on Facebook before DH or I could, but she posted a highly personal photo of me doing skin to skin with DD without asking.
I immediately texted her: "The photo you posted on Facebook is very personal, and I don't want it on Facebook." She ignored the text, so I reported the photo, and it will obviously take a while for FB to remove it. Now, several hours later, the photo is still up, collecting "likes" from her dipshit horse friends. I know what she's doing. She's waiting for me to call. Well fuck her.
I'm done. I've blocked her and my father's phone numbers, and restricted all of her access to my Facebook posts (so I can still moniter her to tell when the photo is removed) and blocked her on Instragram.
Hope she enjoyed trying to ruin DD's birthday for us, because this is the last time she'll ever get that chance.
[ETA age of ex-boyfriend for clarity]
