I have never posted here but was advised by my birth club to bring this here. So here goes!
About a month or so ago, my SIL called my DH and asked him if we were busy the upcoming Monday. He got off the phone and asked me and I told him No. He told me that she wanted to take some family pictures for a memory album for their mother for Christmas. Sunday evening I asked what time we were to leave the following day and he informed me that "we" weren't doing pictures. That she only wanted pictures of herself, dh, and a family friend( a girl) that they had been friends with their whole lives. Their mothers grew up together and were best friends. I got really upset and well, kind of pissed to say the least. My husband talked to my SIL, but didn't tell me.
Anyway, Monday came and he went and took his pictures. I was still upset and hurt really. That evening I went to our local grocery/convience store. We all live in a small town and all three of us girls work there. My SIL was working that night and asked if I was upset. I normally try to smooth things over and say No I am alright. This night though I couldn't. I told her yes I am hurt and pissed that my children and I were not included. I have been in this family for almost 10 years married for 8. She informed me it wasn't personal and to get over it. That they were doing a reinactment of their childhood. I thought ok, if its just that I can deal. I dropped it moved on and got over it.
Fast foward to Christmas night. My MIL opened her album and so did the other girls mother. Yes, the girls and my husand did a reinactment of their childhood. To my surprise however, included was my SIL boyfriend who she has only been with for 5 months, their dog, and the othergirls husband. So their were pictures of my husband, their husbands and boyfriends, but my children and I were completly left out. I went to the bathroom and cried. It crushed me. She lied to my face. I'm obviously not part of their little "family". My children and I are just here. Maybe I'm overreacting but I just can get passed it. Its a hurt so deep I can't even put into words.
I assumed we all had a good relationship, till now. Obviously not. My mil is good to me but she doesn't step in and handle anything either. That's her baby she does no wrong. She's a great mil for the most part. She didn't say a word about why we weren't in the pictures. She cried and told her it was the best gift ever.
I also found out over the course of a couple days that she had been calling me horrible names while my 7 year old de was around. I was called a mother fucking bitch and some other words. That was the topping in the iced cake.
I was leaving everyone alone, but Ny husband texted my sil apparently and "explained" why I was so hurt he said. She texted me and said she was so sorry it was just a mother/daughter thing and she never meant to hurt me. I waited a couple days to text her because I wanted to really think about it all. The only thing I texted was" If it was a mother/daughter thing why was I the only significant other not included?" She texted back and said basically that she was done apologizing for doing something nice for her mom and to get over it, that what's done is done" she also said that thy were only in a few pictures anyway. Well, I wrote her and told her since they all liked to talk about me and call me a f****** Bitch to my daughter, they are going to get to see what a real Bitch I can be. I told her to leave me alone and I'd do the same.
I thought everything was over with so to speak, and was trying to move on and leave them alone. My husband brought it back up last night and said he told her what he thought, but didn't want to go into with me! WTH??? So after he went to sleep last night I looked into his phone for the text. (Wrong and decieving I know, but I wanted to see who side he was on) well, I'm kind of sorry I did. He basically told his sister how bad it hurt me and he understood that. She said she was sorry he was put in the middle. He told her all I ever wanted to be was friends and that I don't have very many would she please just try.( I don't have many because I work 3 jobs besides my family) I also would rather spend it with him and the kids, so my non-kid friends just lingered away. Anyhow, he also told her that he knew I was a pain in the ass but to give me a break. Ok, first off I may be sometimes. I work very hard to be a nice person, always giving and doing. Well this "Bitch" is done. We had even had a long talk and he made it sound like he got it, and then straddles the damn fence with her. I know that's his sister and he loves her and it must be hard, but hold up for me for once don't talk about me behind your back. I'm almost 29 years old I can handle the truth, I can't stand stupid liars! I'm done with that family. The hurt goes way to deep this time on top of years of hurt. Now, I have no idea how I want or need to handle him. I did however, see a glimpse of what really goes on.
So what are your thoughts and what would you do? I'm i just being overly sensitive?
About a month or so ago, my SIL called my DH and asked him if we were busy the upcoming Monday. He got off the phone and asked me and I told him No. He told me that she wanted to take some family pictures for a memory album for their mother for Christmas. Sunday evening I asked what time we were to leave the following day and he informed me that "we" weren't doing pictures. That she only wanted pictures of herself, dh, and a family friend( a girl) that they had been friends with their whole lives. Their mothers grew up together and were best friends. I got really upset and well, kind of pissed to say the least. My husband talked to my SIL, but didn't tell me.
Anyway, Monday came and he went and took his pictures. I was still upset and hurt really. That evening I went to our local grocery/convience store. We all live in a small town and all three of us girls work there. My SIL was working that night and asked if I was upset. I normally try to smooth things over and say No I am alright. This night though I couldn't. I told her yes I am hurt and pissed that my children and I were not included. I have been in this family for almost 10 years married for 8. She informed me it wasn't personal and to get over it. That they were doing a reinactment of their childhood. I thought ok, if its just that I can deal. I dropped it moved on and got over it.
Fast foward to Christmas night. My MIL opened her album and so did the other girls mother. Yes, the girls and my husand did a reinactment of their childhood. To my surprise however, included was my SIL boyfriend who she has only been with for 5 months, their dog, and the othergirls husband. So their were pictures of my husband, their husbands and boyfriends, but my children and I were completly left out. I went to the bathroom and cried. It crushed me. She lied to my face. I'm obviously not part of their little "family". My children and I are just here. Maybe I'm overreacting but I just can get passed it. Its a hurt so deep I can't even put into words.
I assumed we all had a good relationship, till now. Obviously not. My mil is good to me but she doesn't step in and handle anything either. That's her baby she does no wrong. She's a great mil for the most part. She didn't say a word about why we weren't in the pictures. She cried and told her it was the best gift ever.
I also found out over the course of a couple days that she had been calling me horrible names while my 7 year old de was around. I was called a mother fucking bitch and some other words. That was the topping in the iced cake.
I was leaving everyone alone, but Ny husband texted my sil apparently and "explained" why I was so hurt he said. She texted me and said she was so sorry it was just a mother/daughter thing and she never meant to hurt me. I waited a couple days to text her because I wanted to really think about it all. The only thing I texted was" If it was a mother/daughter thing why was I the only significant other not included?" She texted back and said basically that she was done apologizing for doing something nice for her mom and to get over it, that what's done is done" she also said that thy were only in a few pictures anyway. Well, I wrote her and told her since they all liked to talk about me and call me a f****** Bitch to my daughter, they are going to get to see what a real Bitch I can be. I told her to leave me alone and I'd do the same.
I thought everything was over with so to speak, and was trying to move on and leave them alone. My husband brought it back up last night and said he told her what he thought, but didn't want to go into with me! WTH??? So after he went to sleep last night I looked into his phone for the text. (Wrong and decieving I know, but I wanted to see who side he was on) well, I'm kind of sorry I did. He basically told his sister how bad it hurt me and he understood that. She said she was sorry he was put in the middle. He told her all I ever wanted to be was friends and that I don't have very many would she please just try.( I don't have many because I work 3 jobs besides my family) I also would rather spend it with him and the kids, so my non-kid friends just lingered away. Anyhow, he also told her that he knew I was a pain in the ass but to give me a break. Ok, first off I may be sometimes. I work very hard to be a nice person, always giving and doing. Well this "Bitch" is done. We had even had a long talk and he made it sound like he got it, and then straddles the damn fence with her. I know that's his sister and he loves her and it must be hard, but hold up for me for once don't talk about me behind your back. I'm almost 29 years old I can handle the truth, I can't stand stupid liars! I'm done with that family. The hurt goes way to deep this time on top of years of hurt. Now, I have no idea how I want or need to handle him. I did however, see a glimpse of what really goes on.
So what are your thoughts and what would you do? I'm i just being overly sensitive?