BG: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a40968055/now_what
I hope that works. Bipolar mom went off deep end, has followed BSC DWIL handbook of raging at me, sending packages, refusing to respect simple boundary of leaving us alone, threatened GP rights (which was the point I decided to CO, not just TO), has alleged brain tumor. Now the next chapter.
A few notes, just to put out there before I post her latest text.
1) DH and I have found a therapist and have booked appointments.
2) Please, no legal advice. I have talked to the local magistrate office and they suggested a domestic order of protection instead of a C&D. A friend also said a C&D was useless in our state (NC). If you have experience, PAN me if you want.
3) I want a few therapy sessions under my belt before I pursue that.
4) After telling her in January not to contact us, we have BHed everything. Special thanks to Jasina for kicking me in the rear and reminding me of that. Why she hasn't been blocked on DH's phone I have no idea. Fixing that when he gets home from work.
5) I know CO means dead to you, but it is still really difficult to not have a reaction. Basically I have a panic attack when I see she has contacted us. This is part of why I am going to go to therapy.
For whatever reason, despite being blocked on my phone and Mr Number, a call came through from her while I was on the phone earlier. I declined it but it went to voicemail. I haven't listened to it due to not wanting to deal with the extra anxiety. I texted DH at work to let him know and he said she was texting him. Here's the latest:
"The family misses you. They have always loved you and sheltered both of us when *biodad* abused me and threatened all of us. They are hurt that you don't contact them. I have stopped drinking beer and joined *Uncle's* church where I have been attending. It is all good for me, needed this. Please consider their love and feelings if you don't care about me. I am getting my health back and have my peace. I have accepted what I cannot change. I want you to have peace also. I wish you would just say what's on your mind so we can get back to life. It is too short."
On my other sn, I am a seasoned DWIL poster who sees this for the gatekeeping, rug sweeping, get back in the fold message it is. The only communication that has changed is that I haven't called my Grandma since the bedspread debacle, because I'm 99% sure she will be a FM. The rest of the family I keep up with on the debil and my interaction with them hasn't changed but I post very few DS pics. DH and I haven't visited there (6 hour drive) since August 2012. DS is 17 months and simply cannot deal with the drive and we are saving money. When anyone asks when we are coming down (my entire extended family lives in the same area), we tell them why but leave anything regarding her out of it, because it's nothing to do with her. Part of me wants to address this with extended family but that is a huge fucking Pandora's box that I know should not be opened.
I know a CO is the right thing. I know after being so close to her for 29.5 years how she works and it's only a matter of time before she rages at me again and I will be blamed for all of her unhappiness. I'm not sure what I need from you ladies...encouragement? Food porn? How you coped with a CO? How to interact with other extended family members? A reminder to stay strong? I really don't know what I'm looking for but I know invariably, you will say what I need to hear. Thank you.
I hope that works. Bipolar mom went off deep end, has followed BSC DWIL handbook of raging at me, sending packages, refusing to respect simple boundary of leaving us alone, threatened GP rights (which was the point I decided to CO, not just TO), has alleged brain tumor. Now the next chapter.
A few notes, just to put out there before I post her latest text.
1) DH and I have found a therapist and have booked appointments.
2) Please, no legal advice. I have talked to the local magistrate office and they suggested a domestic order of protection instead of a C&D. A friend also said a C&D was useless in our state (NC). If you have experience, PAN me if you want.
3) I want a few therapy sessions under my belt before I pursue that.
4) After telling her in January not to contact us, we have BHed everything. Special thanks to Jasina for kicking me in the rear and reminding me of that. Why she hasn't been blocked on DH's phone I have no idea. Fixing that when he gets home from work.
5) I know CO means dead to you, but it is still really difficult to not have a reaction. Basically I have a panic attack when I see she has contacted us. This is part of why I am going to go to therapy.
For whatever reason, despite being blocked on my phone and Mr Number, a call came through from her while I was on the phone earlier. I declined it but it went to voicemail. I haven't listened to it due to not wanting to deal with the extra anxiety. I texted DH at work to let him know and he said she was texting him. Here's the latest:
"The family misses you. They have always loved you and sheltered both of us when *biodad* abused me and threatened all of us. They are hurt that you don't contact them. I have stopped drinking beer and joined *Uncle's* church where I have been attending. It is all good for me, needed this. Please consider their love and feelings if you don't care about me. I am getting my health back and have my peace. I have accepted what I cannot change. I want you to have peace also. I wish you would just say what's on your mind so we can get back to life. It is too short."
On my other sn, I am a seasoned DWIL poster who sees this for the gatekeeping, rug sweeping, get back in the fold message it is. The only communication that has changed is that I haven't called my Grandma since the bedspread debacle, because I'm 99% sure she will be a FM. The rest of the family I keep up with on the debil and my interaction with them hasn't changed but I post very few DS pics. DH and I haven't visited there (6 hour drive) since August 2012. DS is 17 months and simply cannot deal with the drive and we are saving money. When anyone asks when we are coming down (my entire extended family lives in the same area), we tell them why but leave anything regarding her out of it, because it's nothing to do with her. Part of me wants to address this with extended family but that is a huge fucking Pandora's box that I know should not be opened.
I know a CO is the right thing. I know after being so close to her for 29.5 years how she works and it's only a matter of time before she rages at me again and I will be blamed for all of her unhappiness. I'm not sure what I need from you ladies...encouragement? Food porn? How you coped with a CO? How to interact with other extended family members? A reminder to stay strong? I really don't know what I'm looking for but I know invariably, you will say what I need to hear. Thank you.