Hi everyone, Ive been having issues with my mom and I do not know what to do anymore.
Before I got pregnant at 19, I was very close to my mom. I told her everything, i would hug her all the time, and talk a lot with her. Then, when I got pregnant, I moved in with my daughter dad. At that time I saw my mom prob 2 times a month. Then I had my daughter, and I lived with my ex until last september when we split up (abusive relationship, always ignored, put down, insulted, yelled at, i ended up with a fractured back).
Me and my daughter moved back with my mom since then. I am now 22. I appreciate everything she does for us, watching DD when I go to school, work. And I tell her that, and i am very grateful for her.
I feel exausted through out the week. I am playing, running around all week with my DD. When she is with her dad, and I have time for myself, I am not very talkative. I feel like my brain is blank and i do not think or worry about anything. Its when my brain can calm down and relax.
Now here's where my mom and I are not getting along. My mom loves to talk and describe everything she does. I listen to her, I say my comments about what she is saying, but I cant engage in everything she talks about. I feel very guilty because she is my mom, but I just dont know what is it that she wants me to say back.
A month ago, she was telling me how my brother's ex girlfriend asked my mom for his ashes (my bother passed away 2 years ago). My mom said to me "Shes crazy if she thinks thats going to happen", I say "I understand where she is coming from, but what are you going to do?" she says "of course im not giving them to her" and I said "ok then dont". Now I didnt feel comfortable talking about my brothers ashes, thats why I was brief with what I said. Then, a min later, I stop to put gas in my car, and she calls my sister to pick her up from the gas station and she tells me "we arent understanding eachother today, so im going to go out with your sister and not you" and she left.
Today i was telling her how much a toy for my DD birthday cost, and how they charged us more for the toy than what the price on the shelf said. Somehow she ends up telling me to watch my tone and to calm down. I tell her im trying to explain to her that they charged us more, she shows me the recipt while im driving ( i dont know why she did). So then she keeps saying things about how rude i am. Then we get to the store, and i walk in front of her (at this point i have no interest in walking with someone who just told me to calm down), she tells me am embarrasing her and goes back to the car. Then on the way home, she tells me she is going to stop going out with me because she never has a good time with me, that i treat her like a dog. When I try to put in my point of view, she doesnt let me talk and raises her voice and doesnt let me say anything about it.
I dont know what I am doing wrong. I have no idea. I dont think im being rude.
I dont know if this is normal or not. I dont know if im at fault. But can someone just offer me some advice on this? Thank you for your time.