Dunno if i can post in bot here and another board.. delete if ya need..
so it took me 5 months and i am starting to grow a spine. I have BG. I have noooo idea how to find it!!! :( anyone wanna help?
Quick BG: SO parents came to visit for a week when LO was just a week old himself. To sum it up, it was bad. VERY bad. I couldnt speak up and she stomped on my space and what i needed allllll the time. She didnt give LO back when she was holding him the first time so i got really anxious every time she holds him. I dont experience this with many people and most i enjoy watching spend time with him. I just cant handle her. She maipulates everything! Okay sorry that was long.
LO is 5 months now. I deflected SO parents visiting.. MOTHERS DAY WEEKEND.(3 months about) I told him no fucking way! He listened and instead booked us a cabin in the woods. It was so nice. First family vacation. :) SO did really good on taking care of that on his own. (of course this is after they wanted to come for memorial day weekend. That was a giant fight and he finally decided it was not a good idea) His Brother and Sister in Law invite us to visit THEM this july for the 4th. They are amazing non boundry stomping people who we really get along with. I agree that this would be great! Then his mom and dad invite themselves and move the trip to late July and invite the ENTIRE family!?!?!?!?! Ummmmm... Okay. I guess i will deal with this. we are staying with his brother and sil. OH WAIT. Now his mom has rented a house on the beach. And shes upset cuz no one is staying with her. So she begs josh. I tell him absolutly not. He never tells her anything. I do not want to stay with her! Well Josh convinces me to do it cuz he feels so bad for her. She got this $300 a night house and its only her staying. At this point i am so sick of fighting with him i say whatever. We will fucking stay with her. Jeeze.BAD BAD BAD DUMB DUMB DUMB me. No one ever told his brother and SIL that we are not stayign with them or that she rented a fucking house. So now bro and SIL and there daughter are all bummed. and its tooooo late to change plans i guess. Dont wanna leave his mother alllll alone. I feel manipulated into staying with her and that she planned how that would go from the begining and then never told anyone till last min so no one knew what was going on.
I am batteling getting over the first time she held LO and wouldnt give him back. I knew i should give her a chance to hold him. So i let her hold him for like almost 10 min. then took him back. and that was the only time i let her hold him the entire trip even tho she asked multiple times a day to hold him. She followed me around even when i asked her not to. I was upset with my boyfriend at one point and told her me and LO would be outside by ourselves. after she came out to "bring me a bottle" which i ripped SO a new one for. So he knows now that he is to bring the bottle not his mother. Well i told her that me and LO are going to be alone. She stood there and didnt leave. So i turned my back to her so she could get a clue. (I DID IT! MY SPINE WAS USED IN A LITERAL SENSE TOO HA HA HA) I deflected her asking to hold him alllll the time. yes i didnt share my baby get over it. I AM MOM. I decide. At least she didnt ask to change him then pout again.
LO could not make it to 2 of the dinners (4 night trip) He hadnt napped and i knew a resturaunt was not the place for him. The first night his mom was okay with that. (she expected SO to go and leave me at home .. .HA HA HA bitch hes mine not yours. I have been teahing him to show me how he cares and this is one of them.. not leaving me for family) The second night she threw a fit and said she wasnt going if we where not. This is after she tried telling her son he needed to pick a time that we could all leave. SO, without my help, said NO. Its LOs time schedule and when he naps and is ready we can go. However i dont see that happeneing with everyone here. Shut down. so then sehs not going. SO wants the house to us cuz we need a break from her. (lesson learned NEVER Stay with her on vacation.. how did i think this would end anyway but bad?) So then EVERYONE else changed there plans so she would go with them. Shit like this pisses me off so bad.
I was not the only one annoyed with her eaither. Everyone thought she was being rediculous. I talked to the SIL's to get the scoop on her. They say she is okay. However i dont know if they realize that I am not putting up with any of this shit. Even if they can handle it cuz everyone just bows down to what she wants. WHAAA. She also complained that i wasnt letting her hold LO. I pretty much let people hold him once or twice each anyways. There was a lot of people. And thats what i felt okay with. I was also afraid of her taking him from other people.
There was one night we stayed with his Bro and SIL. Cuz we had a bonfire and i wanted to stay up late. and she wanted to go to bed. She pouted the WHOLE night to everyone about it. I said i dont really care and forgot about it and avoided her. (baby was sleeping and i had the moniter. He was in a closed room and i would hear if she tried to sneak in!) In the morning she didnt show up till noon. I let a lot of people hold the baby and make him laugh and play piano with him and had a great time. she expected me to hand her the baby when she got there. and at this point he was overwhelmed and ready for a nap and she got all butthurt. I just ignored it. I think i will start calling it out. However..
Told SO that she is in a TO. That i will not be accepting gifts from her(she tries to buy me alllll the time) I will not be talking to her. We will not be visiting. They will not be coming to visit. He is welcome to go back on his own. He will not be taking LO. I will let him know when we are ready to see her again. I do like his dad and he is respectful. He was so annoyed by the house rental that he didnt even stay with her! He is helping us move in a month. If she even tries to pull shit to come i will be calling her asap. I will not deal with her stress while moving. I dont think i will make a formal TO annoucement. I will however not be allowing anyone to stay or to visit me or LO. Including if i am at work. I will put him in day care and tell them no one but me is to take him out. Not even SO. He is still a duh (so style.. ) However he is improving and it has taken a lot of communication. We did therapy for a bit. we are moving and will continue when we get settled. However at this rate his mom will not be seeing LO until after hes talking.
I am in love love love with his neice. I felt totally comfterble letting her feed LO. This really bothered SO's mother and she bitchted about it. pLease just be happy your granddaughter got to feed him. (shes the only one i let do that!) I am a very potective mother and i dont give a fuck what others think about my choice for my kid.
(oh and the rest of his family super respectful and non boundry stomping)