I accidentally became pregnant with my boyfriend when I was 22.
Before I found out i was pregnant my older brother came to visit from our of state. At the time I was still living at home, and my grandmother lived on her own in the next neighborhood.
My grandmother abused prescription drugs. It was no secret in our family. Yet, nobody was allowed to confront her. She started falling a lot (dizziness from pills) and my family, especially my brother was growing increasingly concerned. And so during his visit, he sat me down and talked me into moving in with my grandmother to care for her.
I agreed because I believed my grandmother to be a sweet woman.... Anyways my grandmother agreed it was a good idea for me to move in.
But about a week later I found out if I was pregnant. And so I told my grandmother and asked her if she still wanted to move in. She responded strongly that my pregnancy would not change her mind and she wanted me there.
And so I moved in along with my bf because my grandma agreed. The first two months were great. But then things changed. I was placed on strict bed rest because I was bleeding and I had a large blood clot behind the placenta. 12 long weeks of bed rest. I was only supposed to get out of bed to shower/use the restroom. My grandma made me feel horrible. She would say things to me like, "I didn't expect you to be so physically limited." Um wow, good to know you don't give a shit that I might lose my baby. She started calling my brother, sister, aunts and would lie about me and bash me.
I overheard a conversation once between her and my great aunt basically calling me a slit and wondering how many boys I had had sex with.
Through all of this I was still cooking her meals, doing her laundry, driving her to doctor appts. And she told everyone I wasn't doing anything for her. I bought all my own groceries. I never ever touched her food. She would accuse me of stealing her food.
She put me down constantly and would degrade me and call me uneducated or mock me for not knowing the definition of a word that I'd never heard.
My aunt wanted to throw me a shower and I reluctantly agreed. But grandma crushed it because it was planned the same weekend of her birthday and she just couldn't tolerate the attention being on anyone else. Or me ever.
If I took naps or rested she would call me lazy and compare my pregnancy to other people's, and say pregnancy was not that tough.
She's never been pregnant. My mother was adopted. And ill just touch on this subject. She constantly told me how my mother was mentally regarded as a child and she would have grown up in an orphanage if it wasn't for her because she was biracial. I called her out on this. She denied ever saying it.
And then my grandfather who was living in a retirement home in the next town was passing, and I went to visit him one day. My grandmother and great aunt were already there. I walked into the room, greeted them, and then attended to my grandfather. My grandma immediately starts a fight with me because I supposedly didn't greet my great aunt. Which I did. She gets in my face, dilated pupils and all, and is rambling about how I'm such a horrible person. I just stood there and took it and cried.
I know... Pathetic. But I was emotional, pregnant, and next to my dying grandfather. Who I loved to death. My grandpa became upset and started yelling. I left the room. This was the last time I saw him alive.
The next day my grandmother acted like nothing happened. This was a regular occurrence. She would take her pills, flip out on me, and then it was like nothing happened.
Ff to delivery. The day I come home my grandmother becomes very ill and THAT day is placed on hospice. Family comes flooding in to attend to her. Grandma chose to die at home. So hospice and family were there around the clock.
Meanwhile I was tending to my newborn. My family would constantly start fights with me. My sister would come in my room at 7am after I would only sleep for 1 hour and would be Breastfeeding and she's start fights with me over shit that happened years ago. Family would tell me to let my lo CIO so I could do grandmas laundry. They would constantly put me down as a new mother and ruin my new mom self esteem. My brother would tell me I had no idea what I was doing and yelled at me "I'm trying to show you how to raise a human being!" When I didn't know how to use the suction thing in Los nose.
My uncle was a complete douche and flipped out on me one night because I didn't hear him when he asked me to pass the butter. He also never acknowledged my lo. He's co off now.
My mom never defended me during any of this. My bf didn't know what to do.
My sister would tell me things like " I know how to be a mom and get things done. You dont."
Grandma died 1 month later.
I moved out with my bf and we have our own place now. Thank god. I barely talk to my brother anymore and when I do, he's an asshole. He constantly tries to make me feel stupid.
My sister and I have moved forward and she's apologized and knows she was wrong.
I went to therapy and am getting through ppd. And I'm working on forgiving my family... But I just feel like I can't.
I got pregnant before I was ready. Therefore I leaned on my family. But initially I was there to care for my grandma. I stayed because I've always felt like my family doesn't take me seriously and I wanted to show them that I could commit and see things through. Even when things got hard. And I did. And for that I guess I expected at least a little respect, but I never got it. I don't want to co my family... But I don't know how to get them to respect me.
Before I found out i was pregnant my older brother came to visit from our of state. At the time I was still living at home, and my grandmother lived on her own in the next neighborhood.
My grandmother abused prescription drugs. It was no secret in our family. Yet, nobody was allowed to confront her. She started falling a lot (dizziness from pills) and my family, especially my brother was growing increasingly concerned. And so during his visit, he sat me down and talked me into moving in with my grandmother to care for her.
I agreed because I believed my grandmother to be a sweet woman.... Anyways my grandmother agreed it was a good idea for me to move in.
But about a week later I found out if I was pregnant. And so I told my grandmother and asked her if she still wanted to move in. She responded strongly that my pregnancy would not change her mind and she wanted me there.
And so I moved in along with my bf because my grandma agreed. The first two months were great. But then things changed. I was placed on strict bed rest because I was bleeding and I had a large blood clot behind the placenta. 12 long weeks of bed rest. I was only supposed to get out of bed to shower/use the restroom. My grandma made me feel horrible. She would say things to me like, "I didn't expect you to be so physically limited." Um wow, good to know you don't give a shit that I might lose my baby. She started calling my brother, sister, aunts and would lie about me and bash me.
I overheard a conversation once between her and my great aunt basically calling me a slit and wondering how many boys I had had sex with.
Through all of this I was still cooking her meals, doing her laundry, driving her to doctor appts. And she told everyone I wasn't doing anything for her. I bought all my own groceries. I never ever touched her food. She would accuse me of stealing her food.
She put me down constantly and would degrade me and call me uneducated or mock me for not knowing the definition of a word that I'd never heard.
My aunt wanted to throw me a shower and I reluctantly agreed. But grandma crushed it because it was planned the same weekend of her birthday and she just couldn't tolerate the attention being on anyone else. Or me ever.
If I took naps or rested she would call me lazy and compare my pregnancy to other people's, and say pregnancy was not that tough.
She's never been pregnant. My mother was adopted. And ill just touch on this subject. She constantly told me how my mother was mentally regarded as a child and she would have grown up in an orphanage if it wasn't for her because she was biracial. I called her out on this. She denied ever saying it.
And then my grandfather who was living in a retirement home in the next town was passing, and I went to visit him one day. My grandmother and great aunt were already there. I walked into the room, greeted them, and then attended to my grandfather. My grandma immediately starts a fight with me because I supposedly didn't greet my great aunt. Which I did. She gets in my face, dilated pupils and all, and is rambling about how I'm such a horrible person. I just stood there and took it and cried.
I know... Pathetic. But I was emotional, pregnant, and next to my dying grandfather. Who I loved to death. My grandpa became upset and started yelling. I left the room. This was the last time I saw him alive.
The next day my grandmother acted like nothing happened. This was a regular occurrence. She would take her pills, flip out on me, and then it was like nothing happened.
Ff to delivery. The day I come home my grandmother becomes very ill and THAT day is placed on hospice. Family comes flooding in to attend to her. Grandma chose to die at home. So hospice and family were there around the clock.
Meanwhile I was tending to my newborn. My family would constantly start fights with me. My sister would come in my room at 7am after I would only sleep for 1 hour and would be Breastfeeding and she's start fights with me over shit that happened years ago. Family would tell me to let my lo CIO so I could do grandmas laundry. They would constantly put me down as a new mother and ruin my new mom self esteem. My brother would tell me I had no idea what I was doing and yelled at me "I'm trying to show you how to raise a human being!" When I didn't know how to use the suction thing in Los nose.
My uncle was a complete douche and flipped out on me one night because I didn't hear him when he asked me to pass the butter. He also never acknowledged my lo. He's co off now.
My mom never defended me during any of this. My bf didn't know what to do.
My sister would tell me things like " I know how to be a mom and get things done. You dont."
Grandma died 1 month later.
I moved out with my bf and we have our own place now. Thank god. I barely talk to my brother anymore and when I do, he's an asshole. He constantly tries to make me feel stupid.
My sister and I have moved forward and she's apologized and knows she was wrong.
I went to therapy and am getting through ppd. And I'm working on forgiving my family... But I just feel like I can't.
I got pregnant before I was ready. Therefore I leaned on my family. But initially I was there to care for my grandma. I stayed because I've always felt like my family doesn't take me seriously and I wanted to show them that I could commit and see things through. Even when things got hard. And I did. And for that I guess I expected at least a little respect, but I never got it. I don't want to co my family... But I don't know how to get them to respect me.