My brother is three yrs older than me. He has a high profile job and two kids and lives 20 mins from
Me. His wife stays home. When his daughter was born we ( hubs and I then kidless) did everything we felt was what an aunt and uncle should do and did it with love in our hearts... Visits, calls, spent time with them. They've never reciprocated ... Ever. But we still made tons of efforts ... Having thrm over etc. they had a second kid. We continued to be giving and loving. We had our child they would promise hand me downs and not do it ( ok fine), left her first bday early for some friends kids bday who my brother has said they don't even like, never calls ( I do all
The calling), never invites us ( we get invited to his kids bdays only and usually last minute), I organized and hosted both our patents 70 th bday parties. They came but did not offer to pay. That's fine and not the pt but where I am going is my brother makes Zero effort. IF I make an effort he partakes a bit but barely ...I'm ok putting in efforts but is this an unhealthy relationship? I recently had concerns my mom was showing signs dementia ( by the way I have a mom that thinks he's perfect and makes excuses for any behavior on his part)... He basically said his motto in life is to do the bare min to keep ppl happy. Hum. And that he has no obligation to my mom and he's the golden child cause he 'plays the game' and takes her to lunch once a month. He puts zero 'emotional' energy into me or having a relationship. So I basically am wondering: what should I do ? I have backed off completely in the last year to only attending neice and nephews bday parties with a small gift. I just feel sad bc I know we could have a better relationship if I continued the effort but I don't know if that's normal. He has not reached out to me at all and my daughter is now two and has zero relationship with her cousins who live 20 mins away. I just don't get it and what to do ... What went wrong ??? My Neices bday party is this weekend and I sort if don't want to go and I hate feeling this way. We have a great relationship with my hubs side of the family. I was desperate in a work emergency and couldn't even call him to help and he was ten mins away but my
Mom will always say weird stuff out if the blue like what a loyal brother he is (?)... I thought backing off thrm would give him a chance to reach out and balance us but in worried our relationship is over ... Thoughts ?
Me. His wife stays home. When his daughter was born we ( hubs and I then kidless) did everything we felt was what an aunt and uncle should do and did it with love in our hearts... Visits, calls, spent time with them. They've never reciprocated ... Ever. But we still made tons of efforts ... Having thrm over etc. they had a second kid. We continued to be giving and loving. We had our child they would promise hand me downs and not do it ( ok fine), left her first bday early for some friends kids bday who my brother has said they don't even like, never calls ( I do all
The calling), never invites us ( we get invited to his kids bdays only and usually last minute), I organized and hosted both our patents 70 th bday parties. They came but did not offer to pay. That's fine and not the pt but where I am going is my brother makes Zero effort. IF I make an effort he partakes a bit but barely ...I'm ok putting in efforts but is this an unhealthy relationship? I recently had concerns my mom was showing signs dementia ( by the way I have a mom that thinks he's perfect and makes excuses for any behavior on his part)... He basically said his motto in life is to do the bare min to keep ppl happy. Hum. And that he has no obligation to my mom and he's the golden child cause he 'plays the game' and takes her to lunch once a month. He puts zero 'emotional' energy into me or having a relationship. So I basically am wondering: what should I do ? I have backed off completely in the last year to only attending neice and nephews bday parties with a small gift. I just feel sad bc I know we could have a better relationship if I continued the effort but I don't know if that's normal. He has not reached out to me at all and my daughter is now two and has zero relationship with her cousins who live 20 mins away. I just don't get it and what to do ... What went wrong ??? My Neices bday party is this weekend and I sort if don't want to go and I hate feeling this way. We have a great relationship with my hubs side of the family. I was desperate in a work emergency and couldn't even call him to help and he was ten mins away but my
Mom will always say weird stuff out if the blue like what a loyal brother he is (?)... I thought backing off thrm would give him a chance to reach out and balance us but in worried our relationship is over ... Thoughts ?