Called Dad on Fathers Day. I visited family in Chicago a week ago. While I was there, I said "I want my family to be people who make me smile and feel happy" (not a bad person, because I always try to do the right thing for my family but they tear me down and rip me apart). They seem to be pissed off I live in a different country and therefore no longer want a bar of the crap they dish out. They agreed, but as soon as I got back home, gave Dad a call on Fathers Day and he talks to me as though I've done something wrong, even though I'm ringing to say Happy Fathers Day. I said, "Dad I washed the car" (he's always been someone who is on your back to wash your car every week and loves it when you wash your car). He said, "that's good, why don't you wash mine too." When Dad say this sort of thing, it makes me feel tired. Really tired. Like nothing I do will ever be enough for my parents. I offer one thing, and they say want me to jump through a higher hoop. It's so tiring and deflating. I would like Dad to appreciate me and the person I am. I would like him to ackowledge it when I try to show him how much I love him. But how can one elicit this kind of response?
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