My parents have been happily married for 22 years. The last couple years have been hard because my dad is in the construction industry and the economy bombed where they live. So he moved 9 hours away where the work was, and my mom stayed with my 4 high school aged brothers. This last spring he finished up north and moved 3 hours away from home. They still seemed happy, but you could tell the distance was hard.
Today my dad took me aside and told me he is having an affair with his secretary. My mom found out a couple weeks ago. They've been discussing it over text message. He had to beg her to tell me because she didn't want to "break my heart".
Her mom died yesterday, so she's struggling already. Add an affair on top of that and she's having a really hard time. She plays the ostrich and pretends everything is fine. Probably denial, right?
They haven't told anyone except me (I'm the oldest and my mom is my best friend) and my mom's sister also knows.
They've basically agreed that this is it. They're separated and won't be getting back together.
I told them they need to tell my brothers (ages 14, 15, 17, and 19) ASAP because the boys need to come to their own decision.
I'm not mad at my dad. I'm not pleased and I don't condone what he did, but I understand the circumstances that led to the affair.
But I don't know how to respond. I don't know what I should say to my mom or my dad or my brothers. What is this going to mean for Christmas? Or Jack's first birthday? DH's family is already complicated - FIL&SMIL, 2 SILs, MIL, and BIL - and now I'll have 2 families too.
I'm devastated. I was never anyone who was naive and said it would never be my parents getting divorced, but I never imagined in my life.
Sorry I feel like this is so scattered. There's a lot going on.
Today my dad took me aside and told me he is having an affair with his secretary. My mom found out a couple weeks ago. They've been discussing it over text message. He had to beg her to tell me because she didn't want to "break my heart".
Her mom died yesterday, so she's struggling already. Add an affair on top of that and she's having a really hard time. She plays the ostrich and pretends everything is fine. Probably denial, right?
They haven't told anyone except me (I'm the oldest and my mom is my best friend) and my mom's sister also knows.
They've basically agreed that this is it. They're separated and won't be getting back together.
I told them they need to tell my brothers (ages 14, 15, 17, and 19) ASAP because the boys need to come to their own decision.
I'm not mad at my dad. I'm not pleased and I don't condone what he did, but I understand the circumstances that led to the affair.
But I don't know how to respond. I don't know what I should say to my mom or my dad or my brothers. What is this going to mean for Christmas? Or Jack's first birthday? DH's family is already complicated - FIL&SMIL, 2 SILs, MIL, and BIL - and now I'll have 2 families too.
I'm devastated. I was never anyone who was naive and said it would never be my parents getting divorced, but I never imagined in my life.
Sorry I feel like this is so scattered. There's a lot going on.