Alright, I've been with my husband for a year and a half. He was married to his ex wife for 5 years, they never had children. Basically, she threw him out of his house and divorced him stating that she would be surprised if his family still liked him after they split. She also sent out flying monkeys to send him nasty messages to him on Facebook, and he found out she tried to cheat on him twice during their marriage.
Okay, so now he and I are very happily married. I've been trying very hard to build a nice relationship with his family, but it's been slow going because everyone is always so busy. The problem I have began last year when we were in the hospital with DH's stepdad because they thought she may have had a stroke. She showed up at the hospital while we were there (which I kind of understood at the time because she cared about DH's step dad too) and proceeded to talk about going to, "mama's," house to go swimming and whatnot. Fast forward to Christmas last year, we found out that she was going over to my in-laws bringing them cookies, just saying hi etc. DH messaged his brothers asking them why his ex seems to be this huge part of their lives, and their responses rung as, "She was and still is a big part of our family, she shows more interest in my wife and kid than you do, etc." Since the beginning of the year, things have escalated into her going over to BIL and SIL's house and bringing their son gifts, sending BIL presents in the mail, and writing poems for their son. Which brings me to the most recent thing:
I went on facebook yesterday, and it gave me a notification that 3 of my DH's family had commented on the same note his ex posted and tagged them in. It's was some diatribe about how she had to give up her dreams because she had to leave a life of, "suffering and agony," with her ex, my now husband. SIL and MIL were all like, "Oh we love you always! We've seen your heart ache over the past few years! I'm so glad I didn't lose you as a daughter/sister!" I know I wasn't supposed to see it, but I did, and it hurts because I feel like they're carrying this torch for her and haven't taken any chance to even TRY to get to know me. I also felt slightly betrayed because they're essentially supporting her saying that being with their son/brother was agonizing for her.
I don't want to take it personally, but I do. Is this even my business? Should I care? Please. I need an outside perspective. Thank you <3