I'm curious if anyone has experience dealing with ILs/FOO who you've personally had on a TO but your spouse hasn't.
Without messing this up with details, I've had my ILs on a TO since the Fourth of July. They made some decisions that I cannot support nor do i feel can I play along as though everything is A-okay. My DH isn't happy about the decision either but is not TO- nor would I expect him to. They are on TO for me basically because I don't feel comfortable pretending all is fine, nor do I feel alright with telling them how I feel - so I'm just abstaining. For the last two months they have come to visit (living twenty minutes away) and when they have, I have chosen to not be here. They have been able to see our LO and I wouldn't want it any other way- their poor decision making has nothing to do with me feeling comfortable with them around her. This is a TO of avoidance rather than discipline.
Anyhow, her birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I want to have a birthday party for her- our families included. Ill reiterate that I want them in LOs life, I just need a break from them for now and probably through the fall. Is it possible to act cordial for the afternoon and resume a TO afterwards? Is this an actual TO or should I call it something else? Am I nuts?
Without messing this up with details, I've had my ILs on a TO since the Fourth of July. They made some decisions that I cannot support nor do i feel can I play along as though everything is A-okay. My DH isn't happy about the decision either but is not TO- nor would I expect him to. They are on TO for me basically because I don't feel comfortable pretending all is fine, nor do I feel alright with telling them how I feel - so I'm just abstaining. For the last two months they have come to visit (living twenty minutes away) and when they have, I have chosen to not be here. They have been able to see our LO and I wouldn't want it any other way- their poor decision making has nothing to do with me feeling comfortable with them around her. This is a TO of avoidance rather than discipline.
Anyhow, her birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I want to have a birthday party for her- our families included. Ill reiterate that I want them in LOs life, I just need a break from them for now and probably through the fall. Is it possible to act cordial for the afternoon and resume a TO afterwards? Is this an actual TO or should I call it something else? Am I nuts?