So I am an older poster (new screen name to be more anonymous).
BG- I met my DF almost two years ago while he was in a relationship. Him and his GF were together for 10 months and he was very unhappy. We met and a week later he left her and we got together. Two weeks later we were engaged and five months later I graduated from High School and moved in with his mom, dad and his two younger sisters. I paid to live there until August when we closed on our new house.
From about March-July I spent a LOT of time talking to DF's mother. We became super close and I told her A LOT about my very messed up childhood. This included a rape, a father who committed suicide, an abusive ex boyfriend and a severe eating disorder. I really trusted this lady with everything.
When DF and I signed on our house, everything went up in flames. She started endless drama and accused me of "stealing her son" and all that BSC nonsense.. Eventually I learned to ignore all of this (after countless HUGE fights where she called me awful things and said awful things to family about me).
I got pregnant in December and six months later a whole new level of crap started. (This is relevant, I am pro choice, but personally can't see myself ever having an abortion because of personal experiences. I also would not be with a man who had a previous abortion for other personal reasons that are not important). My mother in law knew all of these things because of that period of closeness I felt towards her. I was at her house, six months pregnant and super hormonal. DF went and hung out with his father while I sat with MIL. Eventually the conversation led to an ex.. This is when MIL thought it would be a good idea to tell me that she had received a message on FB, over a year ago, from the ex that DF was with when we met. She explained that in the message the ex (lets call her jill) admitted that Jill allegedly admitted that her and DF had a previous abortion. Now this is none of my business, but I was so hurt. I was hurt because of the previously stated personal choices and because when DF and I had first gotten together, I wanted him to get tested for STD's and he had sworn that him and JIll had never been intimate. I was so hurt that he had lied to me about that AND about his views on abortion...
I walked downstairs without saying another word to MIL and asked DF to go home. In the car, I brought this up. When I told him what MIL had said, he slammed on the brakes and was appalled. He swore that she was lying and all night we talked about it. He swears she is lying and explains how mad he is that she would intentionally hurt me like that, but refused to confront her.. Also, I mentioned texting Jill about all of this to MIL and she freaked out saying "No, don't text her, I don't believe it anyways" and "I knew I shouldn't have told you."
Soon after, I find out from my BF that she had messaged her asking about my past. Questions like "Is it true that (lets call me Jane) Jane was raped when she was younger?" "Is Jane lying to me about her father committing suicide?" and so forth.
When bringing the messages up to MIL, she replies 'I wanted to make sure my son knew the truth about you so you wouldn't run off with my grandbaby." And that she "Wanted to make sure I really loved her son."
All of these things have hurt me so bad. I don't usually get close to people and I try to be civil to everyone, but she has me so upset. I don't know what to do or where to turn. I am now finding out that she spread this ridiculous abortion rumor through the family and to friends. My DuH refuses to confront her. He says it's 'not worth it' or that he 'doesn't want to deal with her'. Am I BSC for letting this bother me?
Sorry I am all over the place. I am overwhelmed and upset by all of this..
TIA to anyone who replies. Feel free to ask questions for clarity.