I need some serious advice here. Like many of you here, I dislike my ILs - FIL in specific, MIL is a nice person most of the time, but FIL does get inside her head every once in a while and makes her say not so nice things. FIL is a horrible person who just rants and have no respect whatsover for me. So you kind of get the picture.
DH has long since acknowledged they are at fault, we have a solid understanding on this matter, no issues there. He is of the opinion that if they say or do anything I don't appreciate, I should say it right then and there (no your parents, your problem, deal with it attitude)
We have not reached a point where we want to CO. They are nice people who took great care of DH, I would even say if it weren't for them, he wouldn't be where he is now. So yes, I am grateful. But they always have this attitude of entitlement and it is getting old.
Sorry this is getting long, I am trying to be as precise as I can :) My problem is I can't stand them, yet I don't want LO growing up not experiencing grandparents love. I so wish they were nicer to me, but I don't have any hope there. They live far away, so there is no way just DH and LO can spend time with them (Even if they lived nearby I don't think I'll be comfortable letting them spend time together without me, they are just toxic, I would not want my LO hearing negative things about me from her grandparents)
Okay, now coming to my question. How do you find that inner peace to deal with them even when you know they don't necessarily like or love you? Most times what happens is I will be nice and they will say something rude which puts me in resentment mode, ruining my next few days. I don't want my life and relationship with DH strained because of these people. All you pacifists out there, how do you do it?
Thanks in advance for all those who were kind enough to chime in.