It's been a while since my last post. Time is really flying by with LO. I can't believe she is already 6 months old. Anyway, in my last post
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a42586744/im_2_weeks
I left off with going to lunch to talk with my mom. That actually went very well. She apologized and has continued to apologize to a point of me and DH having to tell her to stop apologizing as it was getting awkward. I also know for a fact that my aunt (her sister and best friend) got all over her case about it. During this time, I've been trying to rebuild my relationship with my mom and my MIL.
Why my MIL, after all that she has put me through? Well, I look at my life and how things were for me growing up. I didn't know my dad's side of the family. My mom and dad were not married when I was born and my mom did not like a few of my dad's family members. Growing up my dad was involved in my life but he had to come to where I lived to see me. I did not go to where he was (he and his family lived in a different state). But to make a long story short, I don't know them. When I was old enough to visit on my own, I tried to form a relationship but it just never happened. Not like the relationships you form growing up with cousins or whatever. I have 5 uncles on my dad's side and I can only recognize two. I feel robbed in a way. Simply because my mom didn't get alone with them I didn't have a chance to get to know them. I've met them even though I don't "know" them as you would think family knows each other, they are nice people, no one has had anything negative to say about my mom, at least in my presence. Her reasons for keeping a distance really didn't have anything to do with me. I don't want the same for LO. I don't want my LO to grow up and describe me a petty and have any resentment toward me for this. I want her to know DH's side of the family and MIL is apart of that. However, there had to be some rules. DH took LO for visits. Even though MIL asked several times to keep LO and babysit, the answer was no, not alone. DH was always there.
However, despite all that, we (MIL and I) still managed to have another fall out. So DH stopped going out of his way to take LO and told MIL that if she wanted to see LO that she would have to come to us in a neutral place. So this is where our current situation comes in.
LO had pictures made at 2 months old. I was not fond of the pictures because her headband does not at all match her outfit and it looks weird. I didn't give anyone a picture except my sister. That was the same day I got them back, the rest I stuck in the diaper bag and forgot about them.
Not long after that, DH met his mom with LO for lunch. He says to me that his mom asked about the pictures in the diaper bag and if she was suppose to get one. He doesn't know (of course) and wanted to ask me. I told him I didn't give them out. Okay that's the end of it as far as I'm concerned.
No, last week, we all met up with MIL and DH little sister at the mall. She says "I asked DH (his name) if I could get LO some Christmas pictures done...did he ask you" I say "No, but you don't have to do that because I'm getting her pictures done" She says "well, I don't get any pictures so I figured I'll just have to get some done myself." "Ok" I say "Do what you want" I don't know how she plans on getting my LO's Christmas pictures without my LO. So I let it go.
We get LO pictures done and they are great. I went and brought frames for them and I'm going to decorate the frame and give it to my mom and dad as grandparent gifts for Christmas.
DH becomes DuH again. "Did you get one for my mom?" he says.
"No" I said "she said she was going to get her own pictures done, so why does she need my pictures"
DH says "well you know you're not going to let her do that"
"Oh well, maybe next year she'll keep her sarcastic remarks to herself."
This leads to a heated debate. DH saying I need to be the bigger person and me saying that he needs to stop accepting his mom's behavior and wanting me to do the same and that there was no way in hell she was getting a Christmas picture from any packet I paid for.
It's hard for DH to understand why I don't approach his mom's actions the way he does. He doesn't get why I can't just "ignore" her and "be the bigger person" which to me is code for "give her what she wants so I don't have to deal with her"
I don't think I'm overreacting with the picture thing, but I've been known to be a little dramatic in the past so I'm just wondering.