I originally posted this on the Family Finances board, but they suggested that I bring it here, so here goes. This is a long, complicated story so bear with me:
Our house is 998 square feet on the main level - That consists of 2 bedrooms (1 for me and DH and one for DD) and 1 bathroom. We also have my 2 DSS every other weekend (ages 7 and 8 ). While they're with us, they sleep on an air mattress in the living room for the time being - not ideal, I know. We also have another daughter on the way, as I'm due in July.
My mother-in-law 'rents' the finished basement from us for $100/week, plus she pays the internet and water bills (that are in our name). The basement is an additional 998 square feet with another bathroom that we can use for our family, but is currently unavailable to us. It is set up studio-style down there, the only other 'room' is the bathroom. We have even asked her if she'd consider letting us set up a place for the boys down there and she said no.
DH and I looked into selling our house a month or so ago because we're just running out of space. We even had a realtor come and do a walk-through. However, we realized that our home actually works for our family - if his mother wasn't living there. At the time, we told her of our intent to possibly move. We aked her if she would be willing to rent the house from us and she declined, saying she was sure she could find something cheaper (our house payment is $525/month). In the end, we decided to stay and figured we'd ask her to move out sometime in the fall, after my maternity leave was over...which would also give her plenty of time to find her own place.
My MIL has lived there a little over 5 years - my DH moved her from Arizona before we ever began dating). Her home in AZ was foreclosed on after she lost her job due to failing a drug test (she's a pharmacy tech). A lot has changed in his life in those 5 years (AKA a wife and 2 more children). MIL was able to get another job here as a pharmacy tech and actually makes more than either of us. However, every time we bring up moving out to her, she gives us a guilt trip or makes some comment about how she can't afford it. She also totalled her car 3-4 weeks ago and had to get another one. DH told her to buy a nice, used car. What did she do? She leased a 2016 Honda Civic. She joked that night about how she could now only afford to pay us $300/month since she has car payments now.
DH mentioned to his father that he was going to ask his mom to move out in the fall and was actually going to ask him if he'd help fix up our room for the boys and help do a few things in the basement (not help monetarily, just as an extra set of hands). His dad ended up giving him a huge guilt trip about 'kicking her out" and how awful of us (me) that was.
I also have to add that his dad currently pays DH's child support for 2 DSS. We never asked him to do this - he just did it. He and my husband's step-mom are very well off and help all 3 of their children A LOT with finances, so, while it's odd to me, it's all my DH has ever known. However, FIL threatened to stop paying the child support if/when we move her out....which royally pissed me off, I might add...and not because of the money. Why is FIL more concerned for his ex-wife than his grandchildren???? Are the boys supposed to sleep on the floor until they're 15? It was always just meant as a temporary solution and it's just not fair.
I can't help but feel like we're being made to be my MIL's unofficial caretakers. We buy the food, she's pretty anti-social, so she relies on us for interaction, we pay for the electricity (she leaves her lights and TV on while she's at work - ugh!)
DH and I CAN afford to pay the child support and go without the income from MIL (all of the 'rent' she pays us goes in a savings account right now). I'm just torn...DH is an only child after his sister was killed in a car accident when she was 12 and his parents put a lot of pressure on him. I also understand that he wants to maintain a good relationship with them...but this is insane.
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