Want to start off saying I have been on BBC for over a year but am too embarrassed to post this under my usual name incase someone I know will see. That being said here's my issue:
DH, BIL and I are in business together. BIL lives out of state and is staying with us for the next 5-6 weeks while we under go major changes in our company. At first this seemed like a great idea, I have a 3mo baby and know BIL is helpful with cooking meals when I am too busy to do so.
Everything was going well until BIL asked to "take the baby out" I declined because I knew she was hungry (we're EBF) 2 hours later he says "since she ate can I take her out for a walk?"
Me: as in leave the yard?
Him: yes
Me: I'm not comfortable with her being out of my sight and have anxiety when I'm away from her
*hubby steps in to my defense and tells a story about my anxiety*
BIL: well your going to have to get over that
Me: I will when she is 18 and even then I may not.
The issue was dropped- or so I thought. After lunch he walks over to my LO and starts talking/singing to her and telling her all the places he is going to take her like the zoo. He then turns to me and says, "when she is 5 your going to send her to stay with me for a week or 2 and I'll take her to the zoo and she can play with kids her age"
...umm why would I send my 5yo daughter ALONE for 2 weeks to go to the zoo? Logically I would drive/fly to infamous zoo or make a FAMILY trip with us, the parents included, not my child alone in a house with him and no other children.
I bite my tongue and change the subject.
At dinner BIL brings up (for the 4th or 5th time in the week) that hubby and I work so hard we need a break, we should go relax at a hotel that is 1.5-2 hours away, just the 2 of us and he will watch baby.
At this point I can't help but think there is something strange going on. I really like my BIL however I can't get past his behavior and now have to bring baby with me everywhere because I'm not okay with him being alone with her not even for a second.
Hard subject to bring up to DH because they were abused by their father growing up. After I mention it to him he defends his brother by saying he misses his grandchildren and he likes kids because they are the only ones that listen to his rambling.
I don't want BIL staying here anymore. I don't know if I am overreacting here? His family is fairly close and try to be as helpful as possible but this seems a bit excessive to me. How do I tell DH his brother needs to leave without upsetting him? Or am I overreacting...?
Please don't hold back. I need honest advice. Thanks in advance
DH, BIL and I are in business together. BIL lives out of state and is staying with us for the next 5-6 weeks while we under go major changes in our company. At first this seemed like a great idea, I have a 3mo baby and know BIL is helpful with cooking meals when I am too busy to do so.
Everything was going well until BIL asked to "take the baby out" I declined because I knew she was hungry (we're EBF) 2 hours later he says "since she ate can I take her out for a walk?"
Me: as in leave the yard?
Him: yes
Me: I'm not comfortable with her being out of my sight and have anxiety when I'm away from her
*hubby steps in to my defense and tells a story about my anxiety*
BIL: well your going to have to get over that
Me: I will when she is 18 and even then I may not.
The issue was dropped- or so I thought. After lunch he walks over to my LO and starts talking/singing to her and telling her all the places he is going to take her like the zoo. He then turns to me and says, "when she is 5 your going to send her to stay with me for a week or 2 and I'll take her to the zoo and she can play with kids her age"
...umm why would I send my 5yo daughter ALONE for 2 weeks to go to the zoo? Logically I would drive/fly to infamous zoo or make a FAMILY trip with us, the parents included, not my child alone in a house with him and no other children.
I bite my tongue and change the subject.
At dinner BIL brings up (for the 4th or 5th time in the week) that hubby and I work so hard we need a break, we should go relax at a hotel that is 1.5-2 hours away, just the 2 of us and he will watch baby.
At this point I can't help but think there is something strange going on. I really like my BIL however I can't get past his behavior and now have to bring baby with me everywhere because I'm not okay with him being alone with her not even for a second.
Hard subject to bring up to DH because they were abused by their father growing up. After I mention it to him he defends his brother by saying he misses his grandchildren and he likes kids because they are the only ones that listen to his rambling.
I don't want BIL staying here anymore. I don't know if I am overreacting here? His family is fairly close and try to be as helpful as possible but this seems a bit excessive to me. How do I tell DH his brother needs to leave without upsetting him? Or am I overreacting...?
Please don't hold back. I need honest advice. Thanks in advance