Long time lurker. Would like opinions on a situation.
I'll try to keep this short. I'm at my in laws. When we were last here three years ago, I observed my FIL's interactions with my ODS and was a little perturbed by them. He was cold towards him, barely spoke to him or looked him in the eye. My son was three at the time, very talkative and active, just an overall happy kid. Which was why I was so puzzled by my DH's father's attitude towards my son. I spoke with my DH about it. He said his parents were from a small town, weren't very outspoken or extroverted and that I should cut them some slack. So against my better judgment, I did.
Fast forward to now. It's three years later so I figure let's start fresh, give them a clean slate. My DH's sister has a child now, a three year old son. He has spent more time with my in laws obviously, since he is their daughter's child and my husband and I along with our two kids live in another state so we don't see them as often. I have observed my FIL over the course of four or five days. He has shown more interest in my SIL's child than in my ODS. He occasionally makes funny faces at my YDS (9 months old) but overall he isn't very kid oriented. I bared that in mind, but then why would he kiss and hug on my SIL's kid if he didn't like children in the first place?
My conclusion is this: I think he feels more comfortable around my SIL's kid because they have spent more time together and quite possibly because there is a racial motivation there...maybe he can relate better to the kid because they are both white? It really pains me to write this, because I don't believe that some people can still behave this way in the day and age we live in now. And maybe I don't want to believe that they can play favorites. That kind of stuff hurts a child, deep. I don't want my son to ever feel this way. He is going to be six soon, and I fear soon he will be able to interpret this behavior as favoritism, on his own. FIL has said some stuff racially before around me, but always seemed to joke about it so I let it slide. But this is towards my child. I won't stand for it. What do you think is going on here? Thoughts?
I'll try to keep this short. I'm at my in laws. When we were last here three years ago, I observed my FIL's interactions with my ODS and was a little perturbed by them. He was cold towards him, barely spoke to him or looked him in the eye. My son was three at the time, very talkative and active, just an overall happy kid. Which was why I was so puzzled by my DH's father's attitude towards my son. I spoke with my DH about it. He said his parents were from a small town, weren't very outspoken or extroverted and that I should cut them some slack. So against my better judgment, I did.
Fast forward to now. It's three years later so I figure let's start fresh, give them a clean slate. My DH's sister has a child now, a three year old son. He has spent more time with my in laws obviously, since he is their daughter's child and my husband and I along with our two kids live in another state so we don't see them as often. I have observed my FIL over the course of four or five days. He has shown more interest in my SIL's child than in my ODS. He occasionally makes funny faces at my YDS (9 months old) but overall he isn't very kid oriented. I bared that in mind, but then why would he kiss and hug on my SIL's kid if he didn't like children in the first place?
My conclusion is this: I think he feels more comfortable around my SIL's kid because they have spent more time together and quite possibly because there is a racial motivation there...maybe he can relate better to the kid because they are both white? It really pains me to write this, because I don't believe that some people can still behave this way in the day and age we live in now. And maybe I don't want to believe that they can play favorites. That kind of stuff hurts a child, deep. I don't want my son to ever feel this way. He is going to be six soon, and I fear soon he will be able to interpret this behavior as favoritism, on his own. FIL has said some stuff racially before around me, but always seemed to joke about it so I let it slide. But this is towards my child. I won't stand for it. What do you think is going on here? Thoughts?