As usual, long time lurker, first time poster. I have been a member for a long time now but its only been just recently that I have really had an issue.
Little BG: My MB is a complete and utter wierdo. He is creepy to all get out and I just dont like him. When he was about 13, I was 15 at the time, he decided he hated our family (MOO, SFOO (he raised us since toddlerhood but for the sake of this post will be referred to as SFOO), me, and YB. YB is 11 months younger than MB and they have never gotten along. When MB decided he hated us and wanted to go live with his drug abusing, alcoholic SD he decided the way to make that happen was to absolutely terrorize YB with daily beatings that I would have to separate. My parents were not absent parents, we never told them what was going on. This went on for about two years until one day my mom saw all the bruises on YB's back and the whole story came out. MB was given what he wanted and moved in with his SD. After much therapy, our family became a happy family of four. MB would call and check in, and we would get reports from other family members how he was doing but it was very limited. Eventually he followed in his SD'd footsteps and started doing drugs. He ended up going into foster care and aged out of the system only to go back to his SD's until he got kicked out of there too.
He is now 26 and just a few months ago moved in with my Mom, thats fine. Her house, her rules. He did move out a few months later, but now he comes to visit her more often, again fine, whatever, not my house, not my rules. If I am there when he comes over, I will stay for a few minutes longer, depending on if it looks like he is going to camp out on her couch or not and then leave. My mom understands and doesn't push me or YB to socialize with him.
Now to the problem. Now MB has a very nice girlfriend, she is not the brightest bulb in the box but she is a very sweet girl.
My DD is 17 months old and I am 31 weeks pregnant with baby #2. GF will constantly ask to babysit DD and I have repeatedly told her No. I chant in my head "No is a complete sentence" (thank you DWIL) but I'm not gonna lie, my unicorn zombie tries to come back.
My really huge issue with him is while I was pregnant with DD, during one of his visits, he proceeded to tell me a story about when he was in foster care and the family that he was living with at the time had him babysit their little girl who was about 2, well when he was changing her, he inserted his finger too far to wipe out poop and broke her heimen (sp?). WHAT THE WHAT!!? I asked him if the family knew and how he didn't go to jail for that and he told me that he told the family what happened and they decided not to press charges but did request that he be moved to a new home.
My mom has a big fat unicorn where he is concerned and wont CO, my SFOO doesn't socialize with him when he is over. YB will leave the house as soon as he enters, he has gone to therapy but refuses to put himself into any sort of a situation with MB. None of us live there anymore.
Here is my question: Do I tell the gf why DD is not allowed alone with MB or do I mind my own business? They dont have children and have only been together a few months but he is so gung ho to have a family it really worries me and he has said that they are talking about starting a family.
What would you do?
ETA: wierd symbols and I swear I can spell.