I used to think that my ILs were very sweet people, that maybe I didn't understand them because there are some cultural and linguistic barriers (they are from Italy, but DH and BILL were born in the US). Now I'm not so sure.
We've only been married since July 2013 and already have an 11-week old. When we got engaged, FIL was "concerned" about the wedding because I am not Catholic. He actually offered to give us money for the wedding if I would convert. Um...no. (This was all a private discussion with then DF.) They were upset that we didn't do things that they deemed traditional for our wedding, but we basically ignored them and did things our way.
Now that we have a baby, things are starting to bother me. We see my mom and his parents once each week. His parents still complain that this isn't enough. DH says this is because he used to eat there a few nights each week and SIL always brought our niece and nephew there when they were newborns. His parents would watch them while she napped, and they also often babysat. We don't need to do that because I am a SAHM now and we EBF (no bottles yet) so there isn't much they can do right now. Yet they constantly tell me yo come over when DH is at work so they can "help."
A few weeks ago FIL said to me, "He (DH) used to come here all the time until he met you." When I told DH that upset me, he said his dad was joking. On the same day, MIL also asked my baby if she wanted a bottle and later told me the baby's legs are weak and I need to exercise them. Her legs are fine, but I get really paranoid when people say crap like that. When I brought that up to DH, he said, "Well, she's not going to ask the baby if she 'wants boobie' like we do."
Tonight when we were over there, MIL called the baby a feminized version of DHs name over and over. I was very annoyed. She asked DH what we do at night and if he cooks dinner. I cook almost every night! Including homemade bread and ice cream! Seriously? She also told me she never knows what to cook for me (I'm a vegetarian) and when DH said not to cook anything special she replied, "She needs protein." FIL told me he was "proud" of me when I agreed to stay for dinner tonight and again stated that DH used to be there all the time...until he met me. DH changed the subject. When the baby got fussy, we said we had to get going and DH took her from MIL. He was about to put her in the carseat when FIL started yelling at him in Italian and took the baby out of his arms and walked outside with her. DH said nothing, but follwed them outside and came back with the baby a few minutes later.
In the car, I told him it wasn't right for his dad to take the baby like that. DH said, "That's how he shows love. He always did that with my nephew when he fussed and it worked. He's just doing things the way he knows."
I know that if my FOO tried stuff like this, DH would be pissed. And I would never let them get away with it! No one takes the baby from me and they have learned to to even ask to hold her. She gets fussy from pass the baby and it's unnecessary.
Am I being petty? I usually rug sweep, but spending time lurking on DWIL is making me notice more of this kind of stuff lately.
We've only been married since July 2013 and already have an 11-week old. When we got engaged, FIL was "concerned" about the wedding because I am not Catholic. He actually offered to give us money for the wedding if I would convert. Um...no. (This was all a private discussion with then DF.) They were upset that we didn't do things that they deemed traditional for our wedding, but we basically ignored them and did things our way.
Now that we have a baby, things are starting to bother me. We see my mom and his parents once each week. His parents still complain that this isn't enough. DH says this is because he used to eat there a few nights each week and SIL always brought our niece and nephew there when they were newborns. His parents would watch them while she napped, and they also often babysat. We don't need to do that because I am a SAHM now and we EBF (no bottles yet) so there isn't much they can do right now. Yet they constantly tell me yo come over when DH is at work so they can "help."
A few weeks ago FIL said to me, "He (DH) used to come here all the time until he met you." When I told DH that upset me, he said his dad was joking. On the same day, MIL also asked my baby if she wanted a bottle and later told me the baby's legs are weak and I need to exercise them. Her legs are fine, but I get really paranoid when people say crap like that. When I brought that up to DH, he said, "Well, she's not going to ask the baby if she 'wants boobie' like we do."
Tonight when we were over there, MIL called the baby a feminized version of DHs name over and over. I was very annoyed. She asked DH what we do at night and if he cooks dinner. I cook almost every night! Including homemade bread and ice cream! Seriously? She also told me she never knows what to cook for me (I'm a vegetarian) and when DH said not to cook anything special she replied, "She needs protein." FIL told me he was "proud" of me when I agreed to stay for dinner tonight and again stated that DH used to be there all the time...until he met me. DH changed the subject. When the baby got fussy, we said we had to get going and DH took her from MIL. He was about to put her in the carseat when FIL started yelling at him in Italian and took the baby out of his arms and walked outside with her. DH said nothing, but follwed them outside and came back with the baby a few minutes later.
In the car, I told him it wasn't right for his dad to take the baby like that. DH said, "That's how he shows love. He always did that with my nephew when he fussed and it worked. He's just doing things the way he knows."
I know that if my FOO tried stuff like this, DH would be pissed. And I would never let them get away with it! No one takes the baby from me and they have learned to to even ask to hold her. She gets fussy from pass the baby and it's unnecessary.
Am I being petty? I usually rug sweep, but spending time lurking on DWIL is making me notice more of this kind of stuff lately.