I've been a member of BBC since the beginning of my pregnancy, but as my screen name states, I am trying to remain anonymous, because I have problems out the wazoo and am quite ashamed I let it get this far!! I know you DWILers are famous for your "no bullshit" advice (I lurk here) lol, so I've decided to come here and see what you guys have to say. Okay here's my story with some background and I must warn you, it is long. Well, me and my MIL have always had a rocky relationship, mainly because I refused to be her doormat, but sometimes I get tired of constantly battling with her, I tend to get lazy and "pick my battles."
Well I just recently had my daughter on July 15th, and this is my first child so I made it clear to everyone that I wasn't playing the "pass the baby" game with anyone, not even my own family. I'm a selfish Mommy. MIL wasn't happy with this at all saying how I'm "keeping her away from her grandbaaaaabbyyy" oh well. Well I decided to set up a "meet and greet" for this past weekend for everyone who wanted to meet the baby. It was to be hosted at me and DH's house and we would have a little get together and put food on the grill, etc. There weren't that many people coming just MIL & FIL, BIL and his wife and their baby as well (their daughter was born in April) this worked out perfectly because my DH birthday was August 2nd but we didn't do anything special because of the new baby so it was like a "happy birthday DH and welcome to the family DD" well halfway through my daughter began to get fussy (MIL was holding her) So I go over to MIL with my arms out and say "Okay, I think she's tired now." but she ignored me and turned to FIL and continued exclaiming how adorable her little fingers and toes are. I mentioned before that I tend to pick my battles with MIL but my Mama bear instincts are in overdrive so I get heated pretty easily when it comes to my daughter. So I go to grab my baby and MIL holds on for dear life, and I give her a death glare and say "You need to let go, NOW." and FIL goes "just let her go, you're gonna hurt the baby!" So she let's go and I walk away to go tend to my daughter. I can hear MIL in the living room, bitching to my DH about how disrespectful I am. I don't care. The food is done and it's time to sit down for dinner, so we all head into the dining room to get ready, except MIL who was still in the bathroom (so we thought.) Then, all of a sudden, I hear my DD crying, so I go to see what was wrong and she was not in her crib!!! I was mortified, a million things were running through my head, I was so scared I couldn't find my baby I thought I was gonna be branded the next Casey Anthony! I come out of DDs room (our apartment is all on one floor so when you come out of the bedroom you're in the living room) and I notice I can hear my DD crying from outside I go outside and turns out MIL had taken my sleeping newborn out of her crib and was carrying her, carseat and all to her car!! (car seat sits in the living room when it's not strapped into our car) I don't know where in the hell she thought she was going with my baby but I ran outside and got my baby, and I went off, I asked her what the hell she was thinking taking my child and not to ever pull that shit again! And I went in the house and closed the door behind me and locked her outside, then I proceeded to lock myself in DDs room and stayed in there with her. DH kept trying to get me to come out but I wouldn't, and that made him so upset that he went outside and ripped his mother a new one, and then told everyone they had to leave. FIL called me the next day and apologized to me for her behavior, but I told him it's hot his fault, he's not the one who needs to apologize, but he insists on taking me and DH out to an apology dinner, without MIL. BIL also called me and apologized (I guess it's a normal thing in their family to have to apologize for their mother's crazy behavior) DH thinks we need to put his mom on a TO but I think this qualifies for a CO. To me this was unacceptable and I know I said I pick and choose my battles, but I feel like if I just CO her I won't have any battles to pick and choose from, but at the same time FIL has been so good to me, he's like a father to me (I didn't have a real mom or Dad growing up) and I know that CO MIL essentially means CO FIL too & DH still has half a unicorn left and doesn't want to CO his mom! I'm seriously at a loss but I know I need to do whatever is necessary to protect DD. This has been an ongoing discussion in our household since it happened last weekend and I need help!!
Well I just recently had my daughter on July 15th, and this is my first child so I made it clear to everyone that I wasn't playing the "pass the baby" game with anyone, not even my own family. I'm a selfish Mommy. MIL wasn't happy with this at all saying how I'm "keeping her away from her grandbaaaaabbyyy" oh well. Well I decided to set up a "meet and greet" for this past weekend for everyone who wanted to meet the baby. It was to be hosted at me and DH's house and we would have a little get together and put food on the grill, etc. There weren't that many people coming just MIL & FIL, BIL and his wife and their baby as well (their daughter was born in April) this worked out perfectly because my DH birthday was August 2nd but we didn't do anything special because of the new baby so it was like a "happy birthday DH and welcome to the family DD" well halfway through my daughter began to get fussy (MIL was holding her) So I go over to MIL with my arms out and say "Okay, I think she's tired now." but she ignored me and turned to FIL and continued exclaiming how adorable her little fingers and toes are. I mentioned before that I tend to pick my battles with MIL but my Mama bear instincts are in overdrive so I get heated pretty easily when it comes to my daughter. So I go to grab my baby and MIL holds on for dear life, and I give her a death glare and say "You need to let go, NOW." and FIL goes "just let her go, you're gonna hurt the baby!" So she let's go and I walk away to go tend to my daughter. I can hear MIL in the living room, bitching to my DH about how disrespectful I am. I don't care. The food is done and it's time to sit down for dinner, so we all head into the dining room to get ready, except MIL who was still in the bathroom (so we thought.) Then, all of a sudden, I hear my DD crying, so I go to see what was wrong and she was not in her crib!!! I was mortified, a million things were running through my head, I was so scared I couldn't find my baby I thought I was gonna be branded the next Casey Anthony! I come out of DDs room (our apartment is all on one floor so when you come out of the bedroom you're in the living room) and I notice I can hear my DD crying from outside I go outside and turns out MIL had taken my sleeping newborn out of her crib and was carrying her, carseat and all to her car!! (car seat sits in the living room when it's not strapped into our car) I don't know where in the hell she thought she was going with my baby but I ran outside and got my baby, and I went off, I asked her what the hell she was thinking taking my child and not to ever pull that shit again! And I went in the house and closed the door behind me and locked her outside, then I proceeded to lock myself in DDs room and stayed in there with her. DH kept trying to get me to come out but I wouldn't, and that made him so upset that he went outside and ripped his mother a new one, and then told everyone they had to leave. FIL called me the next day and apologized to me for her behavior, but I told him it's hot his fault, he's not the one who needs to apologize, but he insists on taking me and DH out to an apology dinner, without MIL. BIL also called me and apologized (I guess it's a normal thing in their family to have to apologize for their mother's crazy behavior) DH thinks we need to put his mom on a TO but I think this qualifies for a CO. To me this was unacceptable and I know I said I pick and choose my battles, but I feel like if I just CO her I won't have any battles to pick and choose from, but at the same time FIL has been so good to me, he's like a father to me (I didn't have a real mom or Dad growing up) and I know that CO MIL essentially means CO FIL too & DH still has half a unicorn left and doesn't want to CO his mom! I'm seriously at a loss but I know I need to do whatever is necessary to protect DD. This has been an ongoing discussion in our household since it happened last weekend and I need help!!