So... MIL again. We have been in school for 3 weeks now. I finally get to go back after having to take a break for 2 years. My husband is going as well. We have class two nights a week where my grandmother watches our children, and puts them to bed. This woman basically raised me, and I trust her with my children. MIL wants to watch the kids, and we decided no for obvious reasons. Two weeks ago now, MIL started texting DH to go to lunch with her. Yeah, no. He knew it would be a lecture, and he plain just didn't want to go. However, he also didn't want to deal with any drama the week before our first big tests when we were already stressed, so he was beating around the bush and saying things like "no, not today. I'm really busy. I'm not sure when." instead of "fuck you mom. I don't want to have lunch with you. take your own fucking husband, not your son." She text me a few times, but I only respond sparingly anymore. Mostly, I tell DH and he gets to deal with her. But two Fridays ago she called him and left a voicemail saying she could throw herself together and meet him for lunch, but she has to know now (as in a half hour before DH is *supposed* to have his lunch break). He was working, so he obviously didn't answer. He goes to lunch an hour late and sees her message, and said: "Sorry, just got voicemail. was putting pipe up." She ignored all weekend.
Mind you, we had schedule dinner with them and his grandparents the weekend before, because they'd just gotten back in town (and were pretty sure they had his Great grandma), but had to push it back to last weekend due to a death in my extended family. We didn't try to text them, but they never sent us details about dinner and we were pretty happy about not going. We had a blissful weekend.
Then last monday comes. She texts him at around lunch time "Lunch tuesday or wednesday? if lunch doesn't work for you pick another time slot." He BH'd. Tuesday she text him, "Hello?" and text me "Hello. Tomorrow or Thursday is DD2 available? Friday? Let me know, thanks. How is the pink eye in the girls? Also: is there a night you all would be available for dinner?" DH told me to BH. That no, we would not be going to dinner in the middle of the week. She knew that we don't since we are busy two nights and DD1 is in K and has to go to bed on time or she's a bear. (Also, she sent that around the time she knew I'd be in class, and this is a classic tactic she has used in the past so we can't communicate with each other and verify/make a decision together. She wants an answer immediately.) So I BH. Wednesday his dad called him and he missed it, but he decided not to call back because he dad called right at the time he (his dad) got home. He thought it was probably his mother (another trick she'd done to get him to talk to her in the past.) Wednesday his mom text me "Hello?" Now, it's not unusual for me to not answer or answer a few days later. She's never before sent a message to get my attention the day after the first message. She also called me and left a voicemail telling me to call her. She then text my husband "Hello??" at night around the time we are gettting DD1 ready for bed.
On Thursday she called me twice, and left one voicemail, "Hi DIL. (sounding pleasant) Would you please return my call?? Thank you. (there was a tone there)" The voicemail was left after I was already in class, and no. There was nothing wrong. If there was she would have and should have said in her voicemail. I am not required to return her calls. She never has mine. Funny how she has that double standard. She calls my DH twice as well, also once when he was in class. The voicemail she left when he was at work was "I figured you'd be a lunch. Would you please call your mother back. Thank you.(same tone she had with me)" She also text him at around lunch, "Son,what's up? Is there something wrong - are you okay? I've tried getting ahold of you and DIL regarding separate issues for weeks now & no return calls or replies or texts. Call me. you should be at lunch." It has not been "weeks" it had been 2 days for me at that point, and 3 for him. And as I said, it wasn't abnormal for me not to respond for a few days if at all.
Then Friday. She calls me 4 times in the span of an hour. I didn't even see one (had a very high fever and was napping while my grandma watched the girls). The only voicemail (left a minute before she called my husband) was lovely: "DIL, I have left you several messages and you haven't called me back. This is your MOTHER IN LAW. *says her number.* Would you. Please. Return. MY. CALLS." Now, she had left me two voicemails just saying call me, and two texts, the first wanting my DD. Over the course of 2 days that I'd not responded (which was normal). The third day she leaves that. Well hell no I'm not calling you. She calls my husband two times, and then leaves a voicemail a minute after her bitchy one to me, "Son, please call your mom back." She calls him two more times. Then sends one text (while he was working): "Please call me. Stop ignoring me."
After work his dad tried to call him. DH was still working, so missed it. He gets home. Writes a text to his dad "Hey, what did you need?"....and didn't even have a chance to send it. THEY WERE HERE. My DD opened the door (cause she saw them) before DH got there to stop her. (and my grandma was still here, btw). She rips into us. I'm trying not to say anything. A. I'm uncomfortable. I'm sick, still in my pajamas, and had only gotten my voice back the day before so it was still really weak and broke easily. B. DH needed to. I'd just make the situation worse. At one point, she said, "children!" and we thought that she was yelling at my girls (and I was starting to come unglued) then I realized she meant us so I said in a quiet angry voice "we are NOT children." She said we were acting like it by not returning her calls, and not talking much now. His dad kept trying to get her to leave. DH was trying to figure out how to throw her out when our kids were in the room and the only way out was through her. Visit ends with DH agreeing to go to dinner, and she said she'd be picking the girls up FOUR HOURS before we were to be there. They leave as we were still trying to process what'd she'd just said. Now, at the time we didn't see a problem with just dinner (which was what he'd agreed to) because it wasn't at her house, and it was a welcome party for his great grandma. But in talking about it and thinking about it, we said HELL NO. We can't get a word in when she is talking. I stutter or can't speak when angry normally. DH either shuts down or explodes. (He didn't want to explode in front of our children, so was trying to stay calmish.) So we send an email...