I'm a long time lurker on here and I have a situation on which I could use some advice.
My FOO is very close. We spend a good deal of time together and get along quite well. We spend less time together since I got married and had a baby (Teeny) this past summer, but we are still close. My dh and I currently live one town over from my parents. We see them usually once a week for Sunday dinner. They have been pretty good about not doing too much boundary stomping when it comes to Teeny, although they get a bit sad if they don't see him on Sundays.
Today however, my dad sent me an email that I thought was out of line.
(*bg* my mother has early onset Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed last year and it is progressing pretty quickly)
His email basically said that with her finding out from her doctor yesterday that she probably only has a few years before the disease has progressed to end stage (not knowing her family etc), he wants all of us to work hard to help her enjoy life and enjoy her kids and grandson. Ok, so far so good, pretty reasonable. It was the next bit that seemed a bit much to me.
(More *bg* My dh has been seriously looking into joining the Air Force and I support him, as we are struggling financially and this looks to be a good option for our family).
My dad basically said that it was very selfish for dh and I to consider moving (placement for Air Force) at a time like this, and we shouldn't take Teeny away from my mother. Now, my mom and I are very close and I want to do everything I can for her, but I have to think about my son and husband as well. I understand that my mom needs her family, but I'm not sure it's right to ask me and dh to out our lives on hold for several years. We would of course still come visit for holidays no matter where we live, but apparently that isn't enough for my dad. He and I are having lunch together tomorrow and I plan to bring this up to him. Any advice on what to say? He has some anger issues so I'm hoping to say that dh and I have to make decisions for our own little family in a way that doesn't make him dissolve into a gooey puddle of rage.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
My FOO is very close. We spend a good deal of time together and get along quite well. We spend less time together since I got married and had a baby (Teeny) this past summer, but we are still close. My dh and I currently live one town over from my parents. We see them usually once a week for Sunday dinner. They have been pretty good about not doing too much boundary stomping when it comes to Teeny, although they get a bit sad if they don't see him on Sundays.
Today however, my dad sent me an email that I thought was out of line.
(*bg* my mother has early onset Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed last year and it is progressing pretty quickly)
His email basically said that with her finding out from her doctor yesterday that she probably only has a few years before the disease has progressed to end stage (not knowing her family etc), he wants all of us to work hard to help her enjoy life and enjoy her kids and grandson. Ok, so far so good, pretty reasonable. It was the next bit that seemed a bit much to me.
(More *bg* My dh has been seriously looking into joining the Air Force and I support him, as we are struggling financially and this looks to be a good option for our family).
My dad basically said that it was very selfish for dh and I to consider moving (placement for Air Force) at a time like this, and we shouldn't take Teeny away from my mother. Now, my mom and I are very close and I want to do everything I can for her, but I have to think about my son and husband as well. I understand that my mom needs her family, but I'm not sure it's right to ask me and dh to out our lives on hold for several years. We would of course still come visit for holidays no matter where we live, but apparently that isn't enough for my dad. He and I are having lunch together tomorrow and I plan to bring this up to him. Any advice on what to say? He has some anger issues so I'm hoping to say that dh and I have to make decisions for our own little family in a way that doesn't make him dissolve into a gooey puddle of rage.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.