My inlaws are very generous and gave us a large sum of money for our ten year anniversary with the stipulation that we can not use it on a vacation or bills, but can use it on a house project. Part of the issue we have is that it is not "enough" to cover the most PRESSING house projects and the projects it will cover are SO far out of the realm of need. E.g. we need a new roof (about $5k more than the gift) but could use the gift on central air or a bathroom redo which it would cover (sooooo not a priority). The issue here is we have no money to spare so we really can only use the money they give. And to be honest, we NEED a new roof but we mainly need to pay bills from my maternity. What would you do...? would you take the gift and spend it on something you don't really need like the central air, or decline the gift? We also thought we could just take it and say nothing and do what every we want with it (pay bills) but I am not sure that is ok to do or dishonest. Who gives money with stipulations? We are working people and don't need a hand out and certainly do not need to be told what to do, but then again, it is a gift.
Husband had the idea that we could pull a low interest loan to pay for the roof and use the gift for bills. It is so generous and frustraing at the same time. It would be like if you had rags to wear and someone gave you $500 and said you were ONLY allowed to buy a pair of designer shoes when you knew the money could get you so much more.....
This is a VERY common theme with inlaws and in the past we have been able to navigate. This time we are really struggling with the boundaries. Husband thinks we should just tell them "The roof is XYZ amount and since we can not afford the over costs over the gift you can hold onto the gift" but I totally know what will happen.. they will pry and ask why we don't have the "extra" for the roof and as a matter of fact mother in law said some annoying comment about "you still have money in savings so this could be a buffer".... thoughts?
This kind of thing makes me nuts. Hubs said he did at one pt say "we would be happy with the gift but plan to keep it in savings" and his mom said, "no we are not comfortable with that. We don't want this money spend on a vacation or bills"... who goes on vacation lol... it is not like we go anywhere with full time jobs and a 3 year old