I originally posted this in a different group, and was advised to try posting in this group instead because the advice was great here. So, even though the Sticky kind of got me nervous, I decided it could only help, not hurt.
Here's some background:
I am 27 weeks pregnant with my first child, and also planning my wedding for next month, so my fiance and I will be married before our son is born. So, it's all very exciting and crazy right now. I have 2 older sisters and a brother, all of whom I used to be extremely close with, but who now don't talk to me much, if at all. This is mostly my fault, considering I am a recovering addict who has caused many, many problems for my family in the past. I have over a year clean, and am attempting to repair years of damage, but it takes time. So, needless to say, I don't have much support coming from any of my siblings regarding my upcoming wedding or new baby. One of my sisters is married and has a 2 y/o boy of her own. We have always - always - carried some sort of jealousy toward each other, which is not helped by my parents, who favored her all our childhood, and continue to do so, even though they may not realize it.
Here's the issue:
My parents and I have forged a very close bond in the last year, which I am thrilled about. They are extremely supportive of the wedding and the baby, and everything in between. I talk with them literally every day, and see them about once a week for lunch. My sisters, though, will use my mother as a middle-man to get information to, and from, me. When i tried to ask one of my sisters to be in my wedding, she told me she "had no interest whatsoever in being involved." OK, that hurt, but I understood. I then tried to have a very casual phone conversation with my other sister, which turned into her telling me i wasn't doing anything right regarding my pregnancy, or my life in general. Well, maybe I should have expected that, considering my past. Now, as my due date approaches, my parents are trying to help me put things in place, like getting the cradle back from my sister, which was used by my nephew, all of my siblings as babies, and me, so I can use it for my little one when he is born. Well, it turns out, this seemed a perfect time for my sister to announce that she has been trying to conceive, and is now pregnant with her 2nd child. So, I don't get to use the cradle, since she already has it. And, the family will be centered on her during my wedding and last few months of my pregnancy.
I am trying hard not to be hurt, or angry, but my sister is one who plans everything. This pregnancy is no accident, and the timing of it seems to be intentional. I want my child to have a wonderful relationship with his aunts and uncle, even though I don't. And, it has taken me months to overcome the feeling that, because of all the pain and anguish I have caused during my active addiction, I don't deserve this happiness.
So basically, after that long-winded story, I would like some advice on how to handle my sister, this situation, how not to hold resentment against her for once again overshadowing me, and how to move forward and just enjoy the time with my new family rather than focusing on the negative.
Here's some background:
I am 27 weeks pregnant with my first child, and also planning my wedding for next month, so my fiance and I will be married before our son is born. So, it's all very exciting and crazy right now. I have 2 older sisters and a brother, all of whom I used to be extremely close with, but who now don't talk to me much, if at all. This is mostly my fault, considering I am a recovering addict who has caused many, many problems for my family in the past. I have over a year clean, and am attempting to repair years of damage, but it takes time. So, needless to say, I don't have much support coming from any of my siblings regarding my upcoming wedding or new baby. One of my sisters is married and has a 2 y/o boy of her own. We have always - always - carried some sort of jealousy toward each other, which is not helped by my parents, who favored her all our childhood, and continue to do so, even though they may not realize it.
Here's the issue:
My parents and I have forged a very close bond in the last year, which I am thrilled about. They are extremely supportive of the wedding and the baby, and everything in between. I talk with them literally every day, and see them about once a week for lunch. My sisters, though, will use my mother as a middle-man to get information to, and from, me. When i tried to ask one of my sisters to be in my wedding, she told me she "had no interest whatsoever in being involved." OK, that hurt, but I understood. I then tried to have a very casual phone conversation with my other sister, which turned into her telling me i wasn't doing anything right regarding my pregnancy, or my life in general. Well, maybe I should have expected that, considering my past. Now, as my due date approaches, my parents are trying to help me put things in place, like getting the cradle back from my sister, which was used by my nephew, all of my siblings as babies, and me, so I can use it for my little one when he is born. Well, it turns out, this seemed a perfect time for my sister to announce that she has been trying to conceive, and is now pregnant with her 2nd child. So, I don't get to use the cradle, since she already has it. And, the family will be centered on her during my wedding and last few months of my pregnancy.
I am trying hard not to be hurt, or angry, but my sister is one who plans everything. This pregnancy is no accident, and the timing of it seems to be intentional. I want my child to have a wonderful relationship with his aunts and uncle, even though I don't. And, it has taken me months to overcome the feeling that, because of all the pain and anguish I have caused during my active addiction, I don't deserve this happiness.
So basically, after that long-winded story, I would like some advice on how to handle my sister, this situation, how not to hold resentment against her for once again overshadowing me, and how to move forward and just enjoy the time with my new family rather than focusing on the negative.