Wise women of the DWIL I need advice. I have bg around here somewhere but I'm on my phone so I won't be able to link it for you so I'll just give you a short summary:
-GMIL refuses to talk to me or acknowledge that I'm alive (because I'm white, non-Catholic which she has said to other family members)
-MIL has made several comments about how she will always love DHs DD from a previous relationship more than she loves my baby
-On top of her bs comment MIL insists that she needs a nursery for baby
-AIL congratulated DH on baby but never even spoke to me then followed up that awesomeness by giving MIL a brand new crib and a brand new playard (both things that I registered for). When CIL asked her about it she said that she hates me and will not be helping me at all in any way. He asked why she hates me and all she said was "I just do. Everyone does." I saw the texts.
Now for the problem at hand. Today is the 4th obviously which means a family get together. DH an I have been round and round about the above issues - he seems to think everyone 'needs time' to adjust to me. Excuse me? DH and I have known eachother for 16 years, 1 year dating, 6 months married and these people haven't adjusted to me yet?! My issue is I don't know how to get DH to understand how unacceptable their behavior is! It really shouldn't be that hard! I don't know why he doesn't get it! I told him this morning that if today is more of the same (which I fully anticipate since he has done NOTHING about it no matter how many times we discuss it) it will be the last time I see his family which means that they will NOT be seeing my baby (Due in November). He said he understands and agrees but he's said he understands and will handle it in the past when I've brought up issues and nothing has been done. So my questions:
-when they ignore me/are rude to me today do I just take off? Stay? Say something?
-when I CO them all hell is going to break loose. I don't think DH (DuH?) will be a problem as much as his family but also knowing them they will pressure him. How do I handle that? Really I feel like the whole thing is a mes because nothing has ever been addressed with them but DH won't do anything and I'm 100% serious when I say I've spoken directly to GMIL before using her name and looking right at her and she looked anywhere but at me and never responded (she has no hearing problems... I asked because I was still super unicorn 'she wouldn't ignore me :)').
-GMIL refuses to talk to me or acknowledge that I'm alive (because I'm white, non-Catholic which she has said to other family members)
-MIL has made several comments about how she will always love DHs DD from a previous relationship more than she loves my baby
-On top of her bs comment MIL insists that she needs a nursery for baby
-AIL congratulated DH on baby but never even spoke to me then followed up that awesomeness by giving MIL a brand new crib and a brand new playard (both things that I registered for). When CIL asked her about it she said that she hates me and will not be helping me at all in any way. He asked why she hates me and all she said was "I just do. Everyone does." I saw the texts.
Now for the problem at hand. Today is the 4th obviously which means a family get together. DH an I have been round and round about the above issues - he seems to think everyone 'needs time' to adjust to me. Excuse me? DH and I have known eachother for 16 years, 1 year dating, 6 months married and these people haven't adjusted to me yet?! My issue is I don't know how to get DH to understand how unacceptable their behavior is! It really shouldn't be that hard! I don't know why he doesn't get it! I told him this morning that if today is more of the same (which I fully anticipate since he has done NOTHING about it no matter how many times we discuss it) it will be the last time I see his family which means that they will NOT be seeing my baby (Due in November). He said he understands and agrees but he's said he understands and will handle it in the past when I've brought up issues and nothing has been done. So my questions:
-when they ignore me/are rude to me today do I just take off? Stay? Say something?
-when I CO them all hell is going to break loose. I don't think DH (DuH?) will be a problem as much as his family but also knowing them they will pressure him. How do I handle that? Really I feel like the whole thing is a mes because nothing has ever been addressed with them but DH won't do anything and I'm 100% serious when I say I've spoken directly to GMIL before using her name and looking right at her and she looked anywhere but at me and never responded (she has no hearing problems... I asked because I was still super unicorn 'she wouldn't ignore me :)').