Small BG: My MIL has never liked me. Ever. I don't think it's because she is particularly attached to my DH, she just a bitter person. While I don't care for her either I have always tried to be civil at least. She just blatantly ignores me. I rarely see her so its usually not much of an issue.
Yesterday was UIL's bday. There was a get together for him at GMIL's house so DS (19mos) and I went without DH because he was working. With the exception of my MIL, I like my inlaws and they love DS and I.
When everyone gets together usually we all sit in the kitchen except UIL and GFIL. UIL sits alone in the dining room bc MIL is loud, and GFIL sits in the living room bc he can't sit in a regular chair due to polio as a child.
So in the kitchen there was MIL, UIL's GF (S), her daughter (A), myself, DS in his high chair, and GMIL (who hovers till everyone has eaten). DS has finished eating and is drinking his juice and asks for a paper towel. He wants it wrapped around his cup so GMIL helps him (I couldn't tell what he wanted). MIL says something to the effect of that's gay. Everyone just kind of stares at her like she's crazy. She says it again and GMIL says its not and tells her to quit. Of course she doesn't. Then she looks at DS.
MIL - "That's gay. You don't want to be gay."
Me - "He can be whatever he wants to be actually."
MIL - I wasn't talking to you.
Me - No but you were talking to my son, and you need to stop now.
MIL - Don't talk to me
GMIL - MIL, stop. She was defending her child.
MIL - So am I not allowed to talk about DH now?
Me - You can talk about him all you want. That is your son. DS is MINE, and you won't speak to him that way.
GMIL - MIL you need to drop it
MIL - (to me) Shut up. Don't talk to me. I can talk however I want.
At this point UIL has overheard and comes in the kitchen. He tells her "Quit sassin' Mama, or I'll sass you right out of here," and that she was being rude and antagonistic towards me. She finally stops and everyone goes back to eating.
About 5-10 minutes later MIL turns DS's high chair towards her, takes him out, and starts to fast walk for the door. I immediately get up and follow her. Bc I'm on the other side of the table and 19wks pregnant it takes me a touch longer. By the time I get out the door she is halfway to her car. She stops once I appear.
Me - Where do you think you're going with my child?!
MIL - I'm going out to my car with-
Me - Not with my son you're not. Give him here.
At this point I've caught up and reach for DS who reaches out for me. MIL shoves me back and turns her body so I can't grab him. He instantly starts screaming. At this point I see red and my MamaBear kicks in full force. I slap he across the face and grab for him again. She sets him behind her and grabs my wrist and my opposite hand and squeezes as hard as she can while trying to either force me to the ground or into the wall behind me.
Everything after that is a little blurry thanks to adrenaline. From what I remember GMIL, UIL, and S appear almost immediately, so they had to have followed me out pretty quickly. GMIL is crying and screaming at MIL to let go of me. MIL turns on the water works and says I slapped her. I calmly say that she pushed me first. I look over my shoulder and ask S to take DS inside. GMIL gets MIL off me a couple of seconds later.
I get to DS before they can even make it inside and take him in. It takes a good 10 minutes to calm him down. Everyone but UIL and MIL come inside and ask if we are ok. Both GMIL and GFIL are crying. Everyone gets settled down and I can hear UIL reading MIL the riot act outside. He comes back in for cake and presents. MIL gets in the phone and calls FIL (they're divorced and have different partners now). He asks to speak to GMIL so MIL comes and gets her and goes back out. She also calls my DH at some point. DS and I leave after about 30 more minutes and head home.
We live just down the road from GMIL so I triple lock the doors and put the police on speed dial in case she shows up. My SIL texts me to apologize for MIL being crazy and asks if I want ice cream. I declined and told her she would have to call me to be let in (she crashes on our couch every couple weeks for a night). She said she would just stay upstairs since it has a separate entrance. GFIL called me to apologize for his daughter being horrible and crazy. I told him he had nothing to apologize for. That MIL was responsible for her own actions not them.
The rest of the night was uneventful. Today my hand hurts. And I found three little marks on DS's back where she grabbed him too hard or something. Those have been photographed. She is cut off from myself, DS, and any other children of mine. I haven't talked to DH yet except to tell him she's cut off and give him a brief recap if event because he's out of town working. I'm at work right now so DS is with GPIL's as they are our child care. They agreed to not let her over while DS is there at all. I know they will follow through on that bc they don't want to risk not getting to see DS anymore.
I guess there is not really a question or anything in all of this. Advice would still be appreciated (so long as it isn't "move" or "find different childcare" as neither one of those are remotely possible for my family) as my spine is somewhat new and my unicorn only recently dead.
Yesterday was UIL's bday. There was a get together for him at GMIL's house so DS (19mos) and I went without DH because he was working. With the exception of my MIL, I like my inlaws and they love DS and I.
When everyone gets together usually we all sit in the kitchen except UIL and GFIL. UIL sits alone in the dining room bc MIL is loud, and GFIL sits in the living room bc he can't sit in a regular chair due to polio as a child.
So in the kitchen there was MIL, UIL's GF (S), her daughter (A), myself, DS in his high chair, and GMIL (who hovers till everyone has eaten). DS has finished eating and is drinking his juice and asks for a paper towel. He wants it wrapped around his cup so GMIL helps him (I couldn't tell what he wanted). MIL says something to the effect of that's gay. Everyone just kind of stares at her like she's crazy. She says it again and GMIL says its not and tells her to quit. Of course she doesn't. Then she looks at DS.
MIL - "That's gay. You don't want to be gay."
Me - "He can be whatever he wants to be actually."
MIL - I wasn't talking to you.
Me - No but you were talking to my son, and you need to stop now.
MIL - Don't talk to me
GMIL - MIL, stop. She was defending her child.
MIL - So am I not allowed to talk about DH now?
Me - You can talk about him all you want. That is your son. DS is MINE, and you won't speak to him that way.
GMIL - MIL you need to drop it
MIL - (to me) Shut up. Don't talk to me. I can talk however I want.
At this point UIL has overheard and comes in the kitchen. He tells her "Quit sassin' Mama, or I'll sass you right out of here," and that she was being rude and antagonistic towards me. She finally stops and everyone goes back to eating.
About 5-10 minutes later MIL turns DS's high chair towards her, takes him out, and starts to fast walk for the door. I immediately get up and follow her. Bc I'm on the other side of the table and 19wks pregnant it takes me a touch longer. By the time I get out the door she is halfway to her car. She stops once I appear.
Me - Where do you think you're going with my child?!
MIL - I'm going out to my car with-
Me - Not with my son you're not. Give him here.
At this point I've caught up and reach for DS who reaches out for me. MIL shoves me back and turns her body so I can't grab him. He instantly starts screaming. At this point I see red and my MamaBear kicks in full force. I slap he across the face and grab for him again. She sets him behind her and grabs my wrist and my opposite hand and squeezes as hard as she can while trying to either force me to the ground or into the wall behind me.
Everything after that is a little blurry thanks to adrenaline. From what I remember GMIL, UIL, and S appear almost immediately, so they had to have followed me out pretty quickly. GMIL is crying and screaming at MIL to let go of me. MIL turns on the water works and says I slapped her. I calmly say that she pushed me first. I look over my shoulder and ask S to take DS inside. GMIL gets MIL off me a couple of seconds later.
I get to DS before they can even make it inside and take him in. It takes a good 10 minutes to calm him down. Everyone but UIL and MIL come inside and ask if we are ok. Both GMIL and GFIL are crying. Everyone gets settled down and I can hear UIL reading MIL the riot act outside. He comes back in for cake and presents. MIL gets in the phone and calls FIL (they're divorced and have different partners now). He asks to speak to GMIL so MIL comes and gets her and goes back out. She also calls my DH at some point. DS and I leave after about 30 more minutes and head home.
We live just down the road from GMIL so I triple lock the doors and put the police on speed dial in case she shows up. My SIL texts me to apologize for MIL being crazy and asks if I want ice cream. I declined and told her she would have to call me to be let in (she crashes on our couch every couple weeks for a night). She said she would just stay upstairs since it has a separate entrance. GFIL called me to apologize for his daughter being horrible and crazy. I told him he had nothing to apologize for. That MIL was responsible for her own actions not them.
The rest of the night was uneventful. Today my hand hurts. And I found three little marks on DS's back where she grabbed him too hard or something. Those have been photographed. She is cut off from myself, DS, and any other children of mine. I haven't talked to DH yet except to tell him she's cut off and give him a brief recap if event because he's out of town working. I'm at work right now so DS is with GPIL's as they are our child care. They agreed to not let her over while DS is there at all. I know they will follow through on that bc they don't want to risk not getting to see DS anymore.
I guess there is not really a question or anything in all of this. Advice would still be appreciated (so long as it isn't "move" or "find different childcare" as neither one of those are remotely possible for my family) as my spine is somewhat new and my unicorn only recently dead.