I'm concerned my ILs will just show up for Thanksgiving. Has this ever happened to anyone? What did you do? I'm freaking out and my pregnant hormones aren't helping...
OUR BG: We usually invite them for Thanksgiving every year. I'm having another baby soon, so I told them this early last summer that I wasn't doing the holidays this year. But I meant what I said. I'm not even doing gifts this year.
They showed up somewhat unannounced later this summer, but we put up with it, put in our time so we wouldn't feel as bad about not doing Thanksgiving. Btw...MIL "needs" to see our kids, not us.
I made them stay at a hotel, gave them specific times that they could be at our house and they abided by everything. On their way out the door, I told them that we would see them after the baby was born. They ignored my "no thanksgiving" comment and this one, so I have no idea what to think.
Since their last visit, they have barely communicated with us. They sent Halloween gifts for the kids, which is ok and I thanked them for those. I've never said no gifts.They have texted with DH a little about nothing of importance (maybe 5 texts in 12 weeks).
I have been carrying on thinking that they were not coming, afterall, if so they would call and make plans, right?
Last night DH gets a call from estranged BIL. They hadn't spoken in a year or more. The only communication with him was a text last spring that said "I guess I'm married now." He had eloped the night before and DH congratulated them. We actually didn't find out SILs name for months after, when we finally remembered to ask MIL while she was was visiting last summer.
So he called and wanted to reconnect with DH and get our "families" together for Thanksgiving...in 12 days...at my house. I didn't hear the convo, but the little bit I did hear DH was saying "look, let me tell you how our life works, we have kids and we don't make last minute plans..." That's all I heard.
He told me a little more about it later. BIL didn't know that I am pregnant (I'm due in 6 weeks). DH told him that we could get together some other time, but not now. He told BIL that I need rest. He told he we have plans. He told hom PIL are not coming. From his number of "excuses" I'm think BIL was pushing pretty hard. (Btw DH has invited him for TG in the past, but he was always too busy to come, now I'm guessing he want to have a real TG for his foreign wife, at my expense).
So now I'm wondering if MIL was behind this. BIL was a FM to see if we'll cave on no guests? Get his foot in the door and everyone is coming? "Oh BIL will be there, well, we'll just come too!"
I'm thinking too that she is not speaking to us because she doesn't want the topic to come up and then she'll just say "we're on our way!" a couple of days before, like she did in the late summer (and we put up with).
Its so weird and it causing me the stress that I am not supposed to have right now. I don't talk to her anymore, because she always asks "what does the doctor say?" or (my favorite) "what is you definite due date?" Wth? so its not like I can call her. DH doesn't call either.
Does this happen? Does this type of person just show up? I would prefer not to have them show up at my door.
What the hell do I do?
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PIL just "show up" for the holidays? my pre-emptive text p10
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