Sorry this will be long as I am pissed and have had a couple of glasses of wine. The shitstorm will probably not happen until Monday or Tuesday at the earliest but I am going to lay it out now to get the background out of the way.
BG: My Dh has 2 brothers and a sister. ODB2 and Sil are great non boundry stomping people. ODB1 and EvilSIL (ESIL from now on) are horrible people who we do not have very much contact with and when we do usually at family gatherings they used to be very PA towards me until I started calling them out on it in front of everyone so they quit and generally ignore me now which is great. ODB1 and ESIL have a DD who is 2 years older than my 5 year old DD. Their DD is very out of control and a difficult child to deal with in general (think booted from multiple daycares, summer camp and suspended from school all before 3rd grade). OBIL does not have very much to do with the child and pretty much ignores her unless it is to show off his precious. ESIL makes a helicopter parent look uninvolved to the extreme and is so smothering that the poor girl has no breathing room. They have had their DD in counseling for 4 of 7 years and things have gotten so bad with her that I am afraid she is on the road to becoming a sociopath, that is how much this child scares me. We do not allow her around our children unsupervised and even then it is only for a short period of time because we usually pack up and leave quickly if they are at a family gathering we are attending.
The rest of the Inlaws pretty much have them on LC too so seeing them is very unusual for us. We do sometimes run into them in town and usually just say hi and carry on. We live in the same town as them and luckily our kids are in different schools, but ocasionally they are in the same extracurricular activities. We will eventually be moving away but for now we are locked into our house.
*****Possible Trigger*************
Our DD has a port wine stain birthmark that covers half her face. She has had multiple laser treatments on it to help lighten it and to remove it because the one she has wil eventually deform her face because of the type it is. She had a treatment done last week and had to miss camp for a week so it could heal. Her face looks severely bruised when this is done and by the time we sent her backe to camp it had healed well but the bruising was still partially visible.
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On to the current issue.
Our DD is attending a day camp this summer. DNI is also attending said camp. WHen our YDD went back to camp this week post surgery she seemed to be having fun, she was extra tired and hungry when we picked her up but I thought it was just being back at camp and readjusting to the routine. She has also been very cuddly and needy which is unusual for her.
Today why I was at school DD got into my make up and covered her face in foundation trying to cover the mark up. When DH asked her about it she told him the other kids have been calling her ugly this week and she wanted it to go away. So I talked to her when I got home tonight and she reluctantly told me what was going on. This is what she told me and while I understand kids are not always truthful I absolutely believe DD and will address it.
DNI has been telling the other kids that our DD is ugly and stupid and that they should call her ugly and not play with her. DD is not very confrontational so she just asked the kids to stop and did not ask an adult for help. Then she told me DNI and another older boy have been taking her lunch in the mornings and eating it and dumping her water out into her backpack onto her dry clothes so she would not have anything to wear after her swim, she also told me that they have been taking her water bottle so she did not have anything to drink most of the day. She also told me that DNI threatened to hit her if she told an adult so she did not say anything.
So my question is how would you approach this issue. OBIL1 and ESIL are going to go nuts and act like dumbasses, my inclination is to slap the stupid out of them and be done with them, it is hard to avoid them during extra curricular activities since we live in the same town and the girls have similar tastes in activities.
I will be at camp first thing Monday morning speaking with the director. but I do not know what to do if they confirm my DD's story about what DNI is doing. I asked DD what she wanted to do and she wants to go to camp and enjoy her summer.
Would you pull your child or would you insist the bullies be ejected no matter who they are? I will not speak to OBIL and ESIL until I get confirmation or proof that DNI is not doing these things, but if she is what is the best approach to the parents?
DH is on board to do what ever we need to do to protect our kids even if it means a CO of OBIL and ESIL to keep their kid away from ours.
So let me have it ladies. I have my BGP on and If I do not respond I am going to bed now but will respond or clarify in the am if needed too.