My MIL has been passive aggressive towards me since I met them almost 5 years ago. She mixes in the PA comments with ones about how she just 'loves her DIL' and she's 'so lucky to have such a wonderful DIL'. She even sends me texts somewhat regularly about how she and SFIL are so thankful for me and love me so much. Ever since LO, she has gotten worse. If everything isn't about HER (meaning MIL) then she can't handle it. She tryies to take the joy out of everything that she isn't the center of. Examples:
Birth of DS (first and only LO) she sped to the hospital when DH called to tell her I was in labor. (I was fully dilated at this point and pushing, so we thought it would happen quickly) it ended up being a few hours before DS Was born, she sat in the waiting room and harassed my husband through texts to let her back there. When he didn't comply she invited her friends to sit with her as a 'support team'. She still tells the story of how she chewed the midwife out ... "That bitch told me I couldn't get back there to see my grandson because he and his mother were bonnnddingg" (somehow she ended up getting back there anyway) she sent DH a novel of texts the next morning chewing him out because she was "supposed to be in the delivery room" and we had "promised her" (never happened) she came to hospital next day and acted like nothing happened.
She tried convincing us several times to change LO's name, tried claiming all of his first, and when she doesn't see him on holidays or other occasions she deems to be special, she chews DH out that that's "her grandson" & we need to bring him to see her. (She won't come to our house an hour away because she's not comfortable she says. She's in our area at least once a week and doesn't even make an attempt to see LO)
First birthday for LO we weren't going to have a party, then we got a lot of slack from both sides of family because they all wanted to celebrate. MIL made a huge deal & showed her ass that we weren't having a huge party. She offered to pay for one several times so we took her up on it. She got pissed when she found out it wasn't going to be at her house and she and DH got into majorly and she whined that "I thought we weren't going to have a huge party." And then bitched about what everything cost. She came to birthday party and acted like a total ass because the attention wasn't on her. She made a big deal for MONTHS about making LO's first birthday cake. When the time came, she claimed she didn't have time so she bought one instead. It's like she claimed that just so no one else could have it.
This is getting long so I will try to wrap it up. Other PA comments and crazy suggestions:
"I'll let you buy his first Easter outfit if you want to, DIL"
"If something happens to DIL, I'm taking LO away from DS!"
(Still can't believe she said this, and had no clue what to say. DH stood up for himself, but it wasn't taken as seriously as it should have been)
We have remodeled this, this, and that in the house for LO's safety. (I'm talking major renovations)
MIL tried to bathe with my LO in several occasions (bathe WITH, not give a bath)
"Christmas is my holiday and I'm not budging. That's just how it is" - in response to DH telling her we would be at my grandmother's for Christmas
We took LO to zoo on his actual birthday MIL "I LOVE the zoo." Over and over for the entire week before. (DH says MIL NEVER ONCE ever took him to the zoo as a child)
Anyway, I think you get the idea. I feel like we haven't been handling her comments the way we should. We usually end up doing the CBF and maybe DH will say something, but even after all this time, the crap that comes out of her mouth amazes us. We are on LC right now which we want to turn into a TO. Does hee behavior seem normal for crazy MILs? A little beyond normal? Any advice appreciated!
Birth of DS (first and only LO) she sped to the hospital when DH called to tell her I was in labor. (I was fully dilated at this point and pushing, so we thought it would happen quickly) it ended up being a few hours before DS Was born, she sat in the waiting room and harassed my husband through texts to let her back there. When he didn't comply she invited her friends to sit with her as a 'support team'. She still tells the story of how she chewed the midwife out ... "That bitch told me I couldn't get back there to see my grandson because he and his mother were bonnnddingg" (somehow she ended up getting back there anyway) she sent DH a novel of texts the next morning chewing him out because she was "supposed to be in the delivery room" and we had "promised her" (never happened) she came to hospital next day and acted like nothing happened.
She tried convincing us several times to change LO's name, tried claiming all of his first, and when she doesn't see him on holidays or other occasions she deems to be special, she chews DH out that that's "her grandson" & we need to bring him to see her. (She won't come to our house an hour away because she's not comfortable she says. She's in our area at least once a week and doesn't even make an attempt to see LO)
First birthday for LO we weren't going to have a party, then we got a lot of slack from both sides of family because they all wanted to celebrate. MIL made a huge deal & showed her ass that we weren't having a huge party. She offered to pay for one several times so we took her up on it. She got pissed when she found out it wasn't going to be at her house and she and DH got into majorly and she whined that "I thought we weren't going to have a huge party." And then bitched about what everything cost. She came to birthday party and acted like a total ass because the attention wasn't on her. She made a big deal for MONTHS about making LO's first birthday cake. When the time came, she claimed she didn't have time so she bought one instead. It's like she claimed that just so no one else could have it.
This is getting long so I will try to wrap it up. Other PA comments and crazy suggestions:
"I'll let you buy his first Easter outfit if you want to, DIL"
"If something happens to DIL, I'm taking LO away from DS!"
(Still can't believe she said this, and had no clue what to say. DH stood up for himself, but it wasn't taken as seriously as it should have been)
We have remodeled this, this, and that in the house for LO's safety. (I'm talking major renovations)
MIL tried to bathe with my LO in several occasions (bathe WITH, not give a bath)
"Christmas is my holiday and I'm not budging. That's just how it is" - in response to DH telling her we would be at my grandmother's for Christmas
We took LO to zoo on his actual birthday MIL "I LOVE the zoo." Over and over for the entire week before. (DH says MIL NEVER ONCE ever took him to the zoo as a child)
Anyway, I think you get the idea. I feel like we haven't been handling her comments the way we should. We usually end up doing the CBF and maybe DH will say something, but even after all this time, the crap that comes out of her mouth amazes us. We are on LC right now which we want to turn into a TO. Does hee behavior seem normal for crazy MILs? A little beyond normal? Any advice appreciated!