I posted this on my BB and they suggested this bpard. I've had this board suggested to me a few times, but it's now getting to be too much for me.
From other board:
I know that a lot of you will start on the sarcastic comment, how dare she want to spend time with her grandson, etc. This, however is a very real struggle for us as she refuses to visit, but expects us to let her babysit our son who she has seen a handful of times since his birth.
It's not as if we haven't tried, we live right down the road(hwy) from her. I don't have a car and my DH works all the time, my MIL gets off at 5 and generally is home by 5:30. I can't get to her house because it would take too long to walk with my LO. I have given her the green light to visit whenever she wants if she just calls or texts to check if we are home first.
The problem is that she does not want to visit. She doesn't want to see my DH or I (we have a tense relationship). I want my LO to see his grandma, it hurts that she refuses to visit. It's like we are in some kind of war and it's just not working.
I returned from a trip with LO and my dad on Monday and my DH bombarded me with "and tomorrow my mom can watch him while we go out." My LO had had a very hard time sleeping in an unfamiliar place with his pnp. I only wanted for him to get some normal sleep and see his dad who he missed a lot.
I said no, which I thought was reasonable, but became a huge fight with my MIL. She won't visit. I sent her a nice message explaining why she would not be babysitting, but she was welcome to come and visit. She sent one back to tell her when she can babysit. I said that I would prefer she came to visit first to get to know his routine, see how we put him down for a nap, change his cloth diapers, feed him, what toys and games he likes.
She didn't like this. Let me take this time to add that my DH was an only child that she passed off to her parents all the time and barely parented at a young age. She even spanked him once for having an accident when he was three.
As the texts progressed she stopped really replying and just said thank you to everything (she knows how to push my buttons). I told her I thought she was being immature and that I was making valid points, she said that she was "sure that I was."
She said thank you one more time. I haven't spoken to her since. She also changed our conversation to a group conversation with my DH, who didn't want anything to do with it.
I just want her to visit. I'm tired of going to family outtings and being asked why my LO never sees his grandma. I'm tired of her complaining that he sees my family so much more and she only learns anything about him from facebook. My dad visits at least once a week, we make dinner together, he invites me over for bbqs, etc. He has not babysat yet either. I am just not very into leaving my LO yet.
Sorry that was a novel.