I have been here everyday for almost 2 years. I started reading bc I have an N mom.(Not diagnosed.) I have learned from the advice that was given to others and applied it to me. You ladies have changed my life. No lie. I wish I had found this board a decade ago. I owe all of you big time.
For this post, I need help with a reply to a text from a friend whom I did consider a sister. Some bg on her. We've been good friends since 1st grade, she even lived with my family her senior year in HS. Up until somewhat recently we have a had a great friendship and definitely sister like. God parents to her kids and her to mine.
Well, what ended the relationship as it was (we still talk here and there and are civil but I keep her on lc) she gossiped to a group of women that she barely knew about some very important details of my life at the time. When I finally found out and asked her about it she minimalized it and actually tried to turn the tables on me saying I was crazy for being so upset. Well that was it for me. If she would have showed genuine remorse, apologized and took ownership of her betrayal I would have gotten over it in time. But she showed me where I stand with her so that's where we are at now. We have not gotten together at all for any reason other than a group bday party.
She sent the text, I think, to just be a fm. For my sister who I just put in a TO and CO mom. I struggle with finding the right words to reply with. I know what I want to say but that would be against my dwil judgment. And I know some will say to bh...
I have some comments on some of what she wrote but I'll refrain.
Her text:
Hi, I've been wanting to try and get together with you without out my kids or yours. It's nothing bad :) over the last month H and I decided to let SIL come with Dni1 and Dni2 so the cousins can meet. Now they are seeing each other on a regular basis and its great. Next weekend they will meet their grandparents. It got me thinking about your situation with your mom. When she came to visit while I was in homestate I got her side of the story about the last time your dad came to Cali but she stayed in Vegas. I would just like to get your side. I didn't want to involve myself but I care about you all and didn't want to form an opinion until I had both sides. I don't want this to be anything but a friendly conversation. It's just hard to talk openly with all the kids ears listening 😏
The visit from my dad and not my mom she is referring to is from 2 xmases ago. Wtf? Why the sudden "concern"?
So wise ones, how do respond?
Ask me anything that wasn't clear or if u need more info.
For this post, I need help with a reply to a text from a friend whom I did consider a sister. Some bg on her. We've been good friends since 1st grade, she even lived with my family her senior year in HS. Up until somewhat recently we have a had a great friendship and definitely sister like. God parents to her kids and her to mine.
Well, what ended the relationship as it was (we still talk here and there and are civil but I keep her on lc) she gossiped to a group of women that she barely knew about some very important details of my life at the time. When I finally found out and asked her about it she minimalized it and actually tried to turn the tables on me saying I was crazy for being so upset. Well that was it for me. If she would have showed genuine remorse, apologized and took ownership of her betrayal I would have gotten over it in time. But she showed me where I stand with her so that's where we are at now. We have not gotten together at all for any reason other than a group bday party.
She sent the text, I think, to just be a fm. For my sister who I just put in a TO and CO mom. I struggle with finding the right words to reply with. I know what I want to say but that would be against my dwil judgment. And I know some will say to bh...
I have some comments on some of what she wrote but I'll refrain.
Her text:
Hi, I've been wanting to try and get together with you without out my kids or yours. It's nothing bad :) over the last month H and I decided to let SIL come with Dni1 and Dni2 so the cousins can meet. Now they are seeing each other on a regular basis and its great. Next weekend they will meet their grandparents. It got me thinking about your situation with your mom. When she came to visit while I was in homestate I got her side of the story about the last time your dad came to Cali but she stayed in Vegas. I would just like to get your side. I didn't want to involve myself but I care about you all and didn't want to form an opinion until I had both sides. I don't want this to be anything but a friendly conversation. It's just hard to talk openly with all the kids ears listening 😏
The visit from my dad and not my mom she is referring to is from 2 xmases ago. Wtf? Why the sudden "concern"?
So wise ones, how do respond?
Ask me anything that wasn't clear or if u need more info.