Ok slight back story, my DH is an only child, and my Mil is a free spirit 63 going on 42 (she doesn't act her age) about to retire woman. I've wrote previously about her provoking my anxiety with my DS when she told him in a cutesy way that "she was going to take him away from me forever and I wouldn't miss him" I ended up writing her an e-mail about it serveral months later, where we basically agreed to disagree about the appropriate ness of her comment. I at least felt better saying it bothered me, and she was out of line.
Fast forward, so Christmas came she was alright. Not great about faking that she was enjoying spending it with me and my family (everyone agreed to rent a house together for DS's 1st christmas so no one was excluded) even DH said she was bad at faking it. She acted like DH was a single dad in her eyes. (She said that DS only wanted to be held by DH or in the same room as DH etc) whatever crazy pants, much wine and eyerolling to be had
Here's what I need help with, DS's 1st birthday is coming up, and after DH having a conversation with her, she felt the need to send me the same information in the e-mail. I can't help but notice the icy tone, and the fact that she mentions multiple times about spending time with DS and DH and not me. Really it bothers me that it's so blatanly rude and the fact that DH is a big boy and fully capabale of making plans with his mom. My husband doesn't personally enjoy spending time with his mom so he doesn't really reach out to her. The way I see it, is that is his mom, I don't push for him to spend more time with her, but I don't deny him time either (despite what she thinks)
Anyway, I need help writing a response that is going to tell her make plans with her adult son, that's not too icy or snarky in return. Or should I just let DH handle it?